The Quote -

"Nope, I don't really have anything new to say. but then, I always have something amazing to tell about things that you already know!!"

-Muthu

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Sleep in peace - A 55 fiction.

The snap -


The story -



“You asleep”

She turned and looked at her husband. “No. You”

“No.”

The ticking sound of the second hand filled up and emptied the room.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

"Really… Then why aren’t you asleep?"

“Just wondering, what’s in your mind to keep you awake this long?”

Her husband sighed. “huh, I was thinking the same about you.”




Author’s note:

This story occurred to me when Vinnie teased me not to try any fiction at about 1 - 30 am last night (sorry today morning). So as she was my inspiration I dedicate this fiction to her.

The story has about 61 words. If the line about the sound of ticking is removed, then it can be made exactly a 55 fiction. But I thought that that sentence emphasized the slowing of time and the restlessness in the bed room. So I decided to keep the line.

So what do you think about my story guys....


33 comments:

Hopeless Romantic said...

nice one dude...keep penning :)

keep in touch !

Amit

muthu said...

@ hopeless romantic - Thanks 4 your compliments man....

Vinnie said...

hehehhehehee..that was sweet Muthu:) u r certified to write fiction at any hour!

the husband, wife scenes make up for quite interesting 55 fictions, i just realised that...hope u write more scenes like this..

this one was realistic, man!

Vinnie said...

also wondering n smiling at this label: Social Problems!!

one more thing, pls put the gadget to show all ur posts..this way its easier to read an older post

muthu said...

@ vinnie - haha.. thanks vinnie... husband & wife interactions can make the best satirical humor...

and yeah, marriage is a social thing, and so every problem thats associated with it in a way is a social problem....

After all what can be more social than marriage... everyone does it.. :)

I have no idea abt wht gadget you are talking about... Do leave me the link and i will follow it up...

I am thinking about changing my template to harbor... it gives more width to the main entry....

It looks spacious.. good feel to it..

May be i will edit the color a bit...

what do you say....

The Pink Orchid said...

it was so so so real.. felt like a conversation between two people i know.. :D awesome..

muthu said...

@ pink orchid - thanks man.... reality always does beat fiction.... and you have a fine flow of words in your poems man...

Vinnie said...

its ur blog, ur choice...u may keep whatever design u want

all i want / demand is that i can read ur posts clearly n i want to access ur archive easily

2009 (100)
May (20)
April (150)
.
.
.
2008 (560)

yeh wala ??

яノςんム said...

nice!!

55 fiction is a popular thing :D

muthu said...

@ richa - thanks richa.... yeah 55 fiction is a popular thing... though i dont follow the exact word count usually... the idea is more important to me and i try to maintain the fiction to a very quick read.,..

Karthik said...

You too bitten by the 55 fiction bug that originated frm vinnie's head :P

Nice one!! Are you married??

anoop erakkil said...

good..good...good....me would write 'good' 55 times maybe thts the best i can come up with 55 words...!
wonderful work muthu! keep writing..

muthu said...

@ karthick - yeah man, I think i have been bitten by the 55 fiction idea.... :)

and am happy you liked it...

hmhm.no am not married.. really what makes you think i might be married....

dude was the fiction that good, you took me to be married....

oh boy... am in heaven. thanks 4 the compliments man...

and do visit again am preparing a mushy romantic 55 fiction.

muthu said...

@ anoop erakkil - thanks man.... you are too kind with your words on me....

Vinnie said...

hehhehe..Socrates is refering to his wife...quite an indecent way to describe her!

vaise, thanks for putting ur archive gadget..nowi can read any story anytime...

template is simple n neat:)

muthu said...

hey, you cant blame Socrates, his wife was such a pain in the ass.

always nagging, blaming...

but Socrates always took her lightly.

one particular incident Socrates was sitting on his door step lecturing his disciples, his wife was shouting at him from inside the house. After a while of seeing that he is not being disturbed by her, she came out and poured a bucket of water on the philosopher's head.

Socrates calmly looked at the students and said "It always does rain after a bought of thundering doesnt it?" referring to her earlier shouting as thundering....


:) - such easy attitude - a man after my own heart.

Vinnie said...

thanks to her..the world had a Socrates to learn from!

Velu said...

oye! but this is cheating. that is the challange of fiction55.

Cheers,
Velu

muthu said...

haha... yeah i know. but it s jus that it s too good a line to take out, then if you are gonna read my latest 55 fiction - something to die for(or so i have labeled) - you will kill me....

cheers muthu

Aditi..............:) said...

Being a wife I have to correct you here mate....husbands never have the energy to think what their wives are thinking once they are on the bed.....desperate to doze off :P:P:P

But good effort!! :)

muthu said...

@ aditi - :):D:P got you....

hmhm... i tried to bring out the satire of mistrust in a marriage. but yeah on more of a practical note I do have to agree with you... :)

cheers.

magiceye said...

Neat one! Liked it!

TTT said...

great one ! liked it ...keep writing ..your fiction seems to be as good as your poetry !

muthu said...

@ magiceye ---

Thanks a lot. am glad to have piqued your taste buds. :)

muthu said...

@ TTT --

Thanks a lot for your compliments.. I enjoy writing poetry, as for stories, I would love telling them rather than writing them. A habit that was encouraged by my ever listening sister. :)

salaamreaders said...

From girlfriend to wife.After a while you have nothing to say to her. But such is life!

muthu said...

@ salaamreaders ---

Honestly, I don't think so- Marriage life has to be bliss. If not I believe the purpose of marriage itself fails...

I think that - After marriage we don't really take the initial effort that we put in to make the relationship work - when we were in love.

I believe its as simple as that. What do you say??

numerounity said...

Hmmmm interesting!

muthu said...

@ numerounity --

Glad to have piqued your interest. :)

Ghazala Hossain said...

This one is super cute :)

Tanya Sehgal said...

You know what I just came across 55 fiction but did not get the time to actually read about the stuff. The fictional piece was nice, interesting & thankfully I got to know what exactly 55 fiction is all about :) Take care thanks!

muthu said...

@ Ghazala Hossain --

Thanks for your compliments. :)

muthu said...

@ Tanya Sehgal ---

I am glad to have been of service. :)

Cheers and Keep reading...