The Quote -

"Nope, I don't really have anything new to say. but then, I always have something amazing to tell about things that you already know!!"

-Muthu

Monday, June 1, 2009

Sex & the society - Part 1 of the trilogy

The Warning –
Highly adult content. Please do not read any further if you think you are not mature enough to discuss about sex, men and women.

The Quote:

Men when they fuck around, they say they do it for fun. Coz they are after all males & it is in their genes to spread their seed. Fucking for fun is not new. Men do it all the time.

So what’s up with women? After all they too are entitled to have their fair share of sexual pleasure. Right??


------ muthu



Guys, if you find the above quote unacceptable, brutal, hurting and blasphemous. Stop reading this now. I repeat. Please stop reading this now. For this post is nothing but an answer to the question I posed above. And it is my opinion and so as always it is the truth as I see it. And the truth in its nakedness stinks a lot.

For others, hang on to my words, for may be, I will throw light on a few rarely discussed topics or may be I will pull you more into the obscurity in which I always wander. Will show you how much we never bother about the preset prejudices that are passed on to us as it has been passed on for generations. Will give you not only some food for thought but I will, may be if you allow me – will muddle a bit with your thoughts. Will show you the best of the bigotries that sex alone can provide. Will give a reason to defy if that’s what you want to do.


All Bigots are welcome to read, but trust me, this post of mine will sting. So better be prepared.


The Inspiration:


I saw the movie DEV D yesterday night. I am happy. The Indian film industry is finally coming of age. A mature movie that deals with love, ego, sex, pain, drugs, booze and salvation. And a hindi movie at that. I was amazed. Apart from all the crap and masalas that bollywood has become, I am glad that movies such as DEV D are made. I am not going to tell more of the movie and spoil it for those who haven’t seen it.

But how about a few questions – a few questions that the movie touched about.



The questions-


Like why is that when men fuck around, He is called a stud.

And when a woman does the same she is called a slut.

Really…. Is stud the male word for slut?

Well, I searched the dictionary- It defines slut as “A promiscuous or disreputable woman” and however much I went through the web and the dictionary there seems to be no male word for slut. So what the dictionary really means is that males being promiscuous are either ignored or celebrated as Studs but alas when the same is done by the fairer sex, she becomes disreputable.

Wow. If you ask me – that’s a load of crap. But what’s even shittier is that this crap seems to be the generally accepted norm.


If men have the right to go around having sex for fun, then why not women I ask. And no, I am not a feminist but you don’t really need to be a feminist to see the logic in this, you just need to be just a normal guy who thinks straight. Are you one of those guys??



No, I am not arguing that women should also go around fucking nor am I a liberator of women to satisfy their sexual needs. Do not be silly and ridiculous. Grow up. All I really want to ask is –



How can we be so bigoted and prejudiced in the most basic issue of all? That is sex.

Where from did we learn to discriminate between women and men as sexual beings?

Where from did we get the guidance and inference?

The general answer to this question with which people would respond is

“We follow the norms of the society

“It is the system of life that is prepossessed with ideas and we just move along.”




Ok, let me ask you, do you think that you are not a part of the system that is prejudiced and bigoted to its core. Sorry to break it to you my friend. But how more wrong can you be?


You are the system. I am the system. We are the system.





We are those people who have no qualms when passing that MMS of that gal who was caught on tape naked, without any thoughts as to how it will ruin her life. We are those people who listen and gobble up every single word of gossip about the local gal who sleeps around and then comfortably call her a whore. We are those people who do not care about the free navel show and glamour shower that Bollywood is so much associated with but raise questions when an intelligent film about sex is made.

Bollocks. Complete bollocks.

Do you know, what I think is the reason for all this-


I think we are developing a sexual culture of escapism. Nobody wants to confront the facts. Set things right. Be bold for once not caring what other people will think about it. The sad fact remains that sex is not talked about much as much as it is done. And no don’t tell me, I am wrong. Our perpetually growing population supports my hypothesis.

And talking about how to do sex is not what I mean when I say to talk about sex. You do not need an Aristotle to point out what monkeys and apes do without any second thought. But really- Have you ever thought about how the idea of sex is prejudiced, for example. Or how much you are open minded about sex, that is do you want your future partner to be a virgin?

Now that question opens up a whole new can of worms. Doesn’t it?

A can I just got inspired to make a dish of in my next post.



Author’s note-


In the above post, I have not tried to pass any judgments nor express any already formulated opinion. The post is more like a few of my questions-

And my own attempts at answering myself.

I have done a trilogy in the same topic- this post being the first of it. The other two are given below.

Part 2 - Feminist movement - the savior??

Part 3 - Whats really the solution??

I welcome your comments guys and your take on what I have tried to express here. On what you think is right and on what you think is wrong. On what you think is prejudiced and on what you think is silly. Your comments will feed me along with my own thoughts for my follow up post.

If you think, one of your friends would have a good opinion about this post, please do give them the link. And I invite opinions that don’t go along with what I have expressed. I want to know- where we stand as a society.

I would like to see how people react. I would like to get a variety of opinions.


PS-

And for people who haven’t seen the movie DEV D, what are you waiting for? Its one of the most mature movies I have ever seen in Hindi. Chalo yaar, See it soon.


And yeah, guys I had a great time in Kodaikanal.

Lovely weather, yummy chocolates, green valleys, hot and spicy road side corn, flowers of every color imaginable, Roses red enough to take your breath away, a slight drizzle that keeps the chill in the air-
The place is paradise my friends.

Will post about the trip as soon as I am finished with the trilogy. :)


Ciao.

Cheers until then.



Muthu.

68 comments:

Rahul Viswanath said...

I am game ..... I have no issues to see woman making love just like we men do .....

No arguments & No two minds about it ...... I stand by your motion !!!

deeps said...

thanks for chaos theory ....

just wondering though why such a 'theory'!!!

haa this is an interesting post ..
thoughts that make you grin down till last line ...

sort of philosophy of sex?? ha?

AD said...

early morning headaches keep me from anything but posts of bloggers like you :)

this has made me a lil cheery!

but my headache is like a thunder bolt :(

good post!

Keshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keshi said...

Great post Muthu! Very well written. And I will catch that movie sometime, tnxx!


Now, I know that alot of Indian/Sri Lankan culture suggests that women need to be chaste no matter what. I emphasise on the word CULTURE cos its not the same over here. Women in Aus sleep ard as much as men do. And it's not such a big deal. And most of em r not called 'sluts' unless they 'sell' themselves or jealous BFs call them so.

Each and every country and cultures r different. The MINDSET is the culprit. And believe me Muthu, to change an entire culture's MINDSET is a very difficult thing. Cos cultures dont depend mostly on common-sense or fairness to both sexes. Especiallu Easten cultures.

But ur post is a great start to it...a start to making ppl THINK sensibly, and see w.o bias. I admire the fact that u opened up this way in public, and r educating ur fellow countrymen.


**We are those people who do not care about the free navel show and glamour shower that Bollywood is so much associated with but raise questions when an intelligent film about sex is made.

So true! I agree 100%. I never u'stood how some Indians ridiculed Richard Gere for pashing Shilpa Shetty in public when Bollywood is wellknown for gyrating sex scenes!

I liked this post alot. An open and honest opinion on the taboo topic SEX.

Well done!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

**especially

Sorry abt the typos Im in a rush :)

Keshi.

Vishwas said...

It is upto the woman who likes what she does and same thing with guys. Only when both are married then situation can be different you can say i am a "progressive conservative" guy.

Shakthi said...

The post is bold and good . The points are all valid . Yes we need to respect the fact that women are just like you and me and feel and need everything that we do .

Our society and culture need to evolve and come out of the closet .

Stupidity like publicly announcing the puberty of a girl and celebrating it like a function have to stop first .

Next is the fact that sex is the origin of life and needs to be treated as such and not as a means of cheap gratification .

Every man dreams of Namitha or Katrina very explicitly , so what is wrong if women think similarly ?

Nothing is wrong with that !

Chriz said...

expectations drive the emotions wild ...

i dont have expectations ..

and i guess i need to watch dev d now

bparthagene said...

nice thinking aarthy crazy i think ur post is going to be eye opener for all the average ppl like me eagerly waiting for the second part

Anu said...

hey! i also watched DevD last week and loved it......agree with most of your thoughts,,, totally,, and am looking forward to reading the rest of your trilogy

Srini said...

Muthu,

Refreshing post; great balance in perspectives reflected in the style and words too. You have contrived to carry out something controversial (which it should not be) with ease.

I agree with you to a "tee" on every word:

(1) I have never been a fan of the "s" words or the "b" words even for fun. And yes even at the word level the sexual connotations for men and women are discriminatory and I will NOT say it is unfortunate because this cultural bequest did not come all of a sudden... as you say it is you, it is I and it is all of us around.

(2) Your point about "escapism" is also validated especially when as you say as men we drool over sex and vulgarity even when from time to time the larger picture is one which is intended to teach. The lessons are missed. It is like, I preach something; practise something else. I specially liked the point about being sensitive to the kind of impact obscene propagandas can create in the lives of the people involved.

(3)I think what most people need - at least in diluted versions - is a dash of Sigmund Freud. Again just as you say it requires tremendous maturity and poise of perspectives to read him but I brought the psychoanalyst here because he is credited with bringing sex out of the closet. And yes to have one type of sexual behaviour or another so long as it deliberately does not offend others is absolutely fine by me.

And as I read in a post recently, things such as sex etc excite "undue" attention only because they are tabooed. Remove the frames as it is happening right now and you will find that it will become a healthy mainstream topic like any other.

I had a good read.

Cheers.

muthu said...

@ Rahul Viswanath - hmhm... a clear statement dude... hats off.. :)

muthu said...

@ deeps- I love the chaos theory. I am kind of an expert in it. If you wanna know more mail me.

And yeah, this post on the lighter side is darkly humorous.

how can people be so blind...:X

And nope not philosophy of sex but why not question sex???

muthu said...

@ AD- Hope your head ache fades away... :)

and am glad my post did its bit in cheering you up....

cheers.

muthu said...

@ keshi-

Am happy my post made you comment even though you were in a rush.

And typos aren't a big deal anyway. :)

I agree with you on all your points keshi,but sorry yaar- I am not that much of a great guy to educate people and all.

I just want to know how can people follow something so bigoted without any second thoughts.

Jus want to know what has gone wrong.

thats it....

cheers yaar.

will be back with the 2nd part with even harder hitting bigotry.

muthu said...

@ vishwas - Dude, I agree with you completely. After marriage, it s another matter coz we are commited and We will have to think along the lines of honoring the marriage.

I am not conservative but will expect my wife to be faithful to me coz, I will love her infinitely. I know the reason sounds dumb but yeah trust too is dumb. would nt you think so....

muthu said...

@ shakthi - I agree with every one of your points bro.

You could nt have been more crystal clear.

thanks 4 your comments...

muthu said...

@ chriz - I think that

it is expectations tat give you the reason to get up every morning... :)

And sure try the movie...

you will love it.... :)

muthu said...

@ bparthagene- dear friend- nobody s average nor is anybody exceptional, people are what they chose to be....

and if you think that my post has may be given some food for your thought, i am glad.

cheers mate.

muthu said...

@ anu - You are always full of surprises anu.

I did not think you will see things the way i feel. No offense but since you are married and also religious-

But you proved me wrong.

You are one cool mommy blogger.

And yeah I will post the 2nd part of the trilogy by tom or 4 sure day after tom.

Thanks 4 your comments yaar.

cheers.

muthu said...

@ srini - thanks for your comments man. you have just given me great insights to what i have written.

And yeah I am also a fan of Sigmund Freud. Have read abt his ideas and I think he has done a pretty good job of explaining things.

Am so happy you dropped by. Would love to hear your comments on the next part of the trilogy also which i would by sure post by day after tom.

And hats off to your point.

Sex is not tabooed until other wise we make it so....


cheers.

Vinnie said...

Muthu, i agree with this part wholly n soully..can i reserve all my comments until ur trilogy?

muthu said...

@vinnie - Of course vinnie....

hmhm. I thought knowing what you guys think, would in fact help me with the trilogy...

hmhm... but you must have your reasons and your expectations of you comment gives an added inspiration to give the trilogy a meaningful middle and a good ending.

Rajlakshmi said...

intelligent post...
such differentiation is not only associated with the S word but also a lot of other things concerning women... the norms of society and the rules etched in our pschology is too strong to be broken easily...

muthu said...

@ rajlakshmi -

Yeah I agree with you.. There are a lot of other things that are differentiated along the lines of sex but i think rather than - being etched in our mentality, we follow things blindly without questioning and thats the cause for all the bigotries....

Diya said...

You indeed made a bold attempt. Neways 1st thing, thankxx for raising the issue. This was indeed needed to break free of the norms that the society encapsulates us with. But, my point revolves around the fact that unless and until the majority accepts the issue it is difficult to make a differance, isn't it? Cz when you start reforming, it is you who`ll get the backlash, i.e, you will be called the "Slut" and it is not that the word hurts the reformer, but the point is will people be ready to accept the changes that the "slut" tries to bring about?. I know "You are the system, I am the system, We are the system", very true, but is it that we really want the system to change?

muthu said...

@ Diya - Wow.... I repeat Wow.

You have jus given me enough fodder to run my brain till it goes bing... :)

Yeah, you are right. Reformers are labeled sluts and the society at large does not does not listen to people who ask questions.

but I dont want to reform the entire society. I know tat a good part of people are already on my side. I just want to let them know they are not alone.

And I wanna let know the others that soon things will change. Things are meant to change.

I will try to answer the question you raised in my further two posts of the trilogy. I appreciate you dropping your comment.

Thank you so much.


cheers. :)

Marina said...

First off - smart, hardhitting post. You tackled all the right issues, and came up with the right answers. It's hard to find people willing to resolve serious but taboo issues in a society. Good work!
And thanks for coming by my blog =)

muthu said...

@ marina - thanks for your comments.

It s really not about resolving taboo issues in the society. It is more about questioning whats better for us as an individual.

Would love to see more of you here...

Cheers.. then


muthu

preposterous girl said...

Hi Muthu..
a very good read i had..Yeah may be u r right there is no word for a Male-slut, may be thats y in the movie also Kelki calls Abhay a slut and not some other male word for slut..
i tried to google male slut ..and I got this

"A male slut is one who prowls a regular bar route to lure coyote-ugly women home for selfish reasons. "

Notice the phrase UGLY WOMEN..That means if u r fucking around with ugly women then only u r a He-whore..fucking a hot chic is perfectly acceptable... ??
That way may be u r just having fun.. :0 x-(

Though I dnt knw "Where from did we learn to discriminate between women and men as sexual beings?"

But I read it somewhr and if my memory is serving me right then it was Osho's "From sex to superconsciousness" ..It was like this "u meet so many people in ur life, u ask their names and then forget.. And when u recall them u might not remember their names or their facial features, but for sure and without any fail we would all remeber whether that person was male or female.. so strong and deep rooted-ly we have distinguished us human beings as sexual beings..

really looking forward to next part of this trilogy..we need to pul out all of that we have very conviniently pushed under our carpets for generations..

muthu said...

@ preposterous girl - Wow.. That Osho comment blew me off my pants yaar. It in ways is the underlying truth.

And yeah, we need to bring out all the things that we have been comfortably pushing under our mattresses....

thanks 4 your comments gal.

they jus gave me good stuff to think abt..

Anonymous said...

very well written ..bold and to the point!

this topic just makes my blood boil. seriously.i dont understand how the difference originated?

and after so many rape and sexual abuse cases, why isnt there any proper punishment? what are we waiting for?

whats on the minds of those who indulge in such lowly acts? how can one be that insensitive!

the only reason all of this is still continuing is because there is no strict measure taken! no one's scared. they think they can go on raping every other girl they see!

im proud to be a girl and i so hope someone comes out with a GOOD solution!

Vinnie said...

if u really wanna know, here goes...

0. women r powerful humans endowed with intuitive n creative abilities. She is the creator and the creation. she is nourisher as well as caretaker. Her sexuality is as powerful as her very life energy.

1. if this reamined as status quo, mankind will be at its creative richest. it had to be broken down somehow.

2. so women have been supressed since the decline of the golden ages n this has been done with a definite purpose - to weaken mankind - the entire human race

3. men havent done it but some hereby unknown forces who fear the rise n rise of the awakened mankind

4. they instilled fear n wrath of God (a presumed father of all mankind)in the name of religion n portrayed women as the evil one...Eve forced Adam to eat the apple...Pandora opened the box of vices...women r the root cause of all evil, etc etc.

5. men n women have been programmed to think this script to be true. so men supress women by all means possible like hijab, dowri, sati, etc n women believe they r impure from the time they enter puberty n unknowingly both men n women have forgotten who they really r - powerful life forces

sex n spirituality r deeply interconnected n we, as a race r slowly getting it...since we have only just forgotten it a few million years ago..There will be Light soon!!

sorry, if my comment is incomprehensible...but since u asked for it n this is what i think abt this whole issue:)

Keshi said...

its not even bigotry...it's lack of common sense!

Sex is not a crime, it's a 'basic necessity'...just as much as food and shelter are. And that doesn't mean only MALES r entitled to it!

looking forward to ur next post :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

And what irks me is how some Desi mean (MOST actually) practically masturbate watching sexy Bolly actresses but want their brides to be virgins with no history of ever hvn a BF!

Talk abt DOUBLE STANDARDS n HYPOCRITS. Also, most of these men who act as if as it's ok for women to hv sex as they please, r just only SAYING it...their ACTIONS in real life r way different to their words! Thats the saddest part.


Keshi.

Anonymous said...

very true!

there is a section of girls who are scared of sex. my 16 yr old cousin tells me that she thinks sex is a very dirty thing and it spoils a relationship. she feels that during sex, guys use girls just for their own pleasure and the girl eventually has to give in.

WTF! WTF! WTF!

and she adds "thankfully, my bf thinks the same"
and that cracked me up. either he's a liar or he's just plain DUMB.

this was an age old thought that sex is something a guy does for his pleasure and the girl has no say in it.
the scenario's changing ..but at a super slow rate!

muthu said...

@ anonymous - U have made a strong point yaar.

Yes, a lot have to change. I agree with you completely.

But severe punishments are not going to change anything. If punishments were to change anything- I can quote you personally several countries that have absolutely severe rules for people who offend woen.

But still women there are subjected to more emotional torture than you can imagine. Do you know that in several Islamic countries women running public are adviced not to because running shows off their bum.

Will rules change this my frd.

muthu said...

@ vinnie - Wow.. that was a very strong comment vinnie. Yeah you are partly right.

A lot of men cannot handle women or sex and the whole religion coming down on women rather than men is in a way conspiracy of those lost souls...

A lot of incidents from history do support you- from witch hunting episodes to the devadasi episodes..

But i sincerely believe that things are changing and we are the changing force.

I think that men & women are what they are. They have their differences, advantages, disadvantages, but hey they have one similarity that eats up other variations-

they are capable of love & enjoying life. They need & nurture each other.

Like yin & yang.

And no your comment was not incomprehensible. I am your friend and the least I could do is to think things from your shoes.

And just like you have said -

things are changing. there will sure be light.

This may sound silly- But I can somehow feel it in my heart. We will all be better of tomorrow vinnie. Life I believe is only meant to get better.

Lets believe.

muthu said...

@ Keshi - You are absolutely right Keshi.

Sex is a need. Though I have not done it, I know how good it feels to be hugged when I need comforting.

I know how good it feels when my mom sometimes puts my head to her lap and let me sleep.

The best thing about physical touch, is that it can comfort and be rejoicing at the same time.

Just like we have given tongues to taste and eat tasty foods to celebrate it, we must also learn to celebrate sex as the crowning of the sense of touch and our own physicality.

Yeah, I too know of the double standards that exist but i did not elaborate in it in my second post. Because this is something that we know that exists. I have tried to come up with how are we to face this. Is feminist movement a solution.

I have tried the crisp approach so as to make a lasting impression on the readers.

After all two bold words "fuck you" does convey a thousand words of anger. Doesn't it?

muthu said...

@ anonymous - You are right my friend.

People are brought up to the idea that talking about sex is taboo.

And I think that your cousin's attitude is a direct consequence of that.

But i dont think men will agree to that. Like you have said I think that your cousins BF is playing along.

Sex is a celebration of the soul. Of the fact that only a union could create a life.

It is beautiful. It is bliss. It is god.

I will try to elaborate on this along with the answers for a lot of questions that I have raised and questions that other people have in their comments in my last and final post.

Thanks 4 reading and your comments....

Vinnie said...

yes Muthu..lets believe in a sexually liberated tomorrow:)
cheers:)

bondgal_rulz said...

In wich circles is a man who fucks around left, right and centre known as a stud?? :O In my circle, we still call him an Asshole with a capital A. And thank God for that!

But yes, find a woman who does that and people would be saying all sorta things.

"Gigolo" is probably the closest word to male-slut and the funny thing is almost sounds cute!!

And don't even get me started on virginity. The MOST over-rated concept in my opinion!!!

Great great great post Muthu.

Cheers

Keshi said...

lol it does :)

Keshi.

Sowmi said...

Muthu... Thank you... I wanted to put up this in my blog but you got it before me :) Good that you've put up here... Sorry for commenting very late.. Superb!!!!!!!!!! it was like hitting a nail on head to the point post... Am so happy and excited that a guy at last started understanding how a gal feels with this regard...
Cheers, Cheers, Cheers....

Sowmi said...

and your argument about slut and stud... awesome. I've thought about this many many times Muthu.. Why is that always women folks are blamed.. even if she loses her virginity unknowingly, people call her names.. Its not her mistake... and why people call her names? Doesn't this apply to men also when you speak about equality? why people are not calling names for men huh??? well your post kindled my passive anger I would say... But then thank you for allowing me to rant here lol!!!

muthu said...

@ bondgal_rulz- I couldn't agree with you more...

Virginity and chastity are the most over rated concepts in our culture. And trust me- that is too heavy a topic. I will try to go through the stigmas associated with it in detail in a future post.

cheers.. :)

muthu said...

@ sowmi - Not just a guy, a lot of guys are coming out of their prejudices nowadays and remember not only guy but a lot of gals also are still having a bigoted mindset with regard to sex.

And am glad tat my comment section gave you a place to rant out your thoughts... :)

cheers.. :)

ashkd said...

I liked the post for the fact that you started it with so openly.. but somehow i think that there are so many emotions involved in your logic here..

1. as pointed out by bondgal_rulz.. the group that cannot distinguish between love and lust, only they can term 'stud' to such a male.. i guess we should not go on 'exact dictionary' definition of 'stud'.. when we are discussing about the opinions and thoughts about definition of 'sex' then we should also take the definition of words like 'stud' also with discussion only..

2. gigolo is the closest word for male-slut i guess.. though once again the dictionary definition of it would differ but sense is quite similar..

3. when we talk about gossip or mms, its not an outcome of one extreme emotion.. though i totally agree that our hypocrisy places the most dominant role here.. but think about those scenes when one of the kid-thief is beaten by so many people publicly. it might be that one frustration takes other ways to come out.. many studies say that in foreign colleges, sex is the way of releasing the tension of exams coming over the next week..

there are many more things that are to be said. next time soon.

indeed its a very nice post covering things those 'should' matter to be discussed.. great work.. :-)

~~~~~~~ashkd

muthu said...

@ Ashkd-

I completely agree with you in all your arguments.....

Yeah -- even like U have said the kid-thief mentality plays an part role here....

people wanna talk abt sex but not constructively but rather like in a manner of gossip....

And thanks 4 your compliments..

Do visit again. :)

Metahuman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Metahuman said...

Let's f**k each other out then?
It's like you are a Pakistani (all respect to them) saying that because India did it, let us do it too!
Why did you not write about being celibate?

muthu said...

Being celibate is each Individual's choice.

I just wanted to question-- the terms of wat I thought were -- prejudices that are accepted without any second thoughts....

I am not really an established authority to discuss anything but as an individual who sees & reasons with everything-- I am entitled to question things.

Dont I??

Anonymous said...

I'm a gal... Why I represent myself as anonymous is cz if someone reads that I have written it, they might give me a name...
if a guy fucks around, he is not a stud.. he is called a cheap character guy...
okie u r right... a guy does not have a similar reputation like a gal has if she fucks around... but u miss one point... she can go on being a stud ONLY IF SHE WANTS TO... and not because her BF wants to... it is not as easy for girls as it is for boys... they can get tortured and hurt... the WTF WTF WTF anonymous person above says that the 16 yr old gal feels it is dirty... come on she is just a 16 yr old... gals dont get aroused like guys... they take time... some might even get scared at the way they have been abused or witnessed incidents when they were kids that they dont feel like it till they are 25... if that was not the case, why is rape such a bad incident? why is it not enjoyable to the victim?

muthu said...

@ anonymous -

yeah, you are right- there is a greater possibility of girls getting hurt - in a sexual relationship. and yeah, 16 yr olds are too young to know the world-

But wait -- Is 25 like you have mentioned the age when a girl (for that sakes also a boy or anyone)understands ambiguous stuff like sex, love, life's purpose and so on...

I think, people learn, when they want to learn. If someone decides- to be something (like say hater of homosexuals), I don't think they do so- because of their age.

They do so- because, they feel comfortable doing so, they do so because,whatever they have seen until then, learnt until concurs with their beliefs. Hate I think rises mostly when you don't understand stuff !!

And sexual abusing of kids- I believe has no differentiation of sex. Small boys as well as girls - are subject to the claws of this demon.

& yeah, trauma of physical violation - is a horrid experience. It leaves behind scars - that hurt for life.

I just hope, people hurt- always find - the warmth of love & a good hug. It always helps.

Nirvana said...

Whoa! That was an explosive post Muthu! Let me try answering some of your thoughts there. Societies accross the world have revolved around male rule-makers. It is then obvious that rules will be biased. But then, wen intelligence is what distinguishes us from the others in this planet, shouldn't our rules evolve with time too? I understand hiding women behind closed doors during the days of the Genghiz Khan raids, but today?? Awesome post!

muthu said...

@ Nirvana --

hmhm..... Yeah, that's a valid argument. but what I am not able to understand is- If the mother of the male child would have been liberal in her parenting, may be our "alpha male rulers" would have been more considerate.

And Yeah, I think we do not want to evolve. We end up feeling comfortable with age old rules that we don't want to move on.

And did you try the other two parts of the trilogy.

http://average-everyday.blogspot.in/2009/06/sex-society-part-2-of-trilogy.html

http://average-everyday.blogspot.in/2009/06/sex-society-last-part-of-trilogy.html

Amit Ganguly said...

I believe that its a personal choice.After all we live in a Free society.We always have a choice and we can always be conscious.

muthu said...

@ Amit Ganguly ---

hmhm..... Yeah, Its a personal choice and I agree with you completely. It's just I ponder on where did we learn from the preconceived notions about sex.

Just pondering!!

Jen..The Butterfly Effect said...

It's a great topic you have chosen to pen down your thoughs.

But believe me,from times immemorial it's been like this..the footloose men called studs and the girls being called sluts..nature has designed the women to always be subjugated by men! And even if a revolution occurs to eradicate this venom of subjugation,discrimination of women will be etched to the society atleast of the order of 5%!!or more...

muthu said...

@ Jen..The Butterfly Effect --

Well, that's quite a strong statement that you just made. Honestly, I don't believe that Nature designed women to be weak. (And physical attributes foes not define strength nor weakness) I think nature intended women to be nurturers and Men as Protectors of them.

Yes, the role lines are becoming blurred in the modern society. And it is this blurring up of roles that will (I think) ultimately lead to gender based liberation.

Not only women are on the receiving end of the stick, Men who are sensitive are also termed as fags!!

No, I sincerely have faith that things will change for the better. We will change for the better. That's the first step. Kindly have faith.

Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comments.

Kevinwexu said...

@ deeps- I love the chaos theory. I am kind of an expert in it. If you wanna know more mail me. And yeah, this post on the lighter side is darkly humorous. how can people be so blind...:X And nope not philosophy of sex but why not question sex???

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