The Quote -

"Nope, I don't really have anything new to say. but then, I always have something amazing to tell about things that you already know!!"

-Muthu

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Rest in Peace - A short story

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 32; the thirty-second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is 'An Untold Story'


The snap-




The Fiction- 

Even the most daring and the desperate of the prostitutes avoided that alley, its dark shadows and its depraved inhabitants, for no better reason than the simple fact that they wanted to; Not that it did not have its share of leering customers with sleazy money and even sleazier sexual appetites. The alley, if it could be still called that was dead, decadent and decaying. Its crumbling walls, the dank paint with its edges pealing, the spewing drainage, its putrid stench wafting about, the street hewed into loose stones and broken pot holes, murky puddles slurping in the darkness, a broken streetlight flickering dipping in and out of life, A few crows pecking at the rutting garbage and its contents. A more perfect stage could not have been bargained for, for all the blood that was going to be spilled.

There was a cold silence, a calculating silence. The three men stood there simply staring at each other, trying to get a sense of each other, daring the other to make his first move. The knives they held glinted wickedly in the moonless night, its sharp counters cutting the few shards of light from the broken tube light. One of them, the one wearing a dull red shirt stood on one end of the narrow lane facing the other two; the other two who were here to kill him. Bloody mother fuckers. Who did they think they were dealing with? Some street punk! He was not going to be easy. Fucking dammed, if they think this is going to be that easy. His fingers tightened, closing hard on the handle of his knife, turning his knuckles white.

 “MOTHERFUCKERS” He shouted and rushed at them both with his knife in his outstretched hands. He was going to do them, do them both real good, cut through their fucking innards. Nobody gets away with this. Nobody gets away after pulling a fucking knife on him. He sped up, his feet plodding across the rubble, his face slowly widening with a loathsome mirth. And then he tripped. Tripped on some left over debris and was down with a dull thud. He laid there on the bare lifeless gravel, with his own life slowly ebbing out of him along with a warm worm of blood trickling out of his broken forehead.

The other two looked at each other and exchanged a smirk.

 “What a lovely fuck up!! Went down and died even without putting up a decent fight.”  

Remarked one of them, the one who seemed to be the sadistic leader as he slowly came forward, measuring each of his steps, eyeing the red shirt for any sudden movements. “Pathetic Bastard !” He thought to himself. A waste, A criminal waste. Now, he was never going to get his arousal.  He never really got them, until and unless he heard his victims cry and beg for mercy. Just for a few minutes as he played with them and the dull end of his knife. And when he was denied that, that simple and basic joy of killing just because this asshole couldn't wait to get iced, made him mad, quite a bit mad.

He kicked with his heavy soles into the abdomen of the victim and heard him cry out in ripping pain with delight.

"Fuck, the ponce is still alive!!"

The tormentor grunted his approval with a malicious grin that lit his face in the dead darkness of the alley. He turned and looked at his young partner, beckoning him to join the fun. He sighed to himself. After all, he was just getting started and the more the company, the more the fun. Right!!

But then fate took a sharp turn.

The blow to his shin with the knife was so hard, it ruptured a few veins that blood didn't just ooze out but gushed out to paint the alley road a dense dark crimson. Instinct took over all his senses and he simply bent over reaching for his leg. A mistake and even before he realized that, the red shirt thrust-ed his knife all the way through his left eye, tearing apart the softer tissues of the brain. He fell down dead.

Exhausted with his vengeance, the dull red shirt laid there panting and fighting for air in the stagnating cesspool of blood. The third guy, quite shaken but still holding on the side of tough edged towards the dead and the nearly dead. The Sweat was pouring from his face and every fiber in his body was pulling taunt with fear, as he slowly bent over his partner and tried to rouse him.

Then it happened.

The red shirt in his final attempt to breathe opened his mouth wide and all the gathering blood rushed in and he choked, his last breath escaped with a ghoulish guttural splurged in his own fluids.

That low haunting sound broke whatever remaining guts, the third guy had. He stood up and started to run; away from there; Away from the alley; Away from everything. He simply ran until every single muscle in his soul was totally exhausted, his lung palpitated and his mind numbed. Right in front of a speeding truck. He became one of those hit and run casualties, dead even before hitting the ground.

The sky slowly darkened as if in mourning and the sound of the rain mixed with the sirens of the ambulance in distant echoes.

Three were dead.

A few untold stories, some dreams and some distant tears rotted away along with those carcasses and but what told aloud in a solemn voice by the priest as he presided over their joint burial ceremony was that all the three were but the children of god who were pure in soul and though good in character, had been corrupted in life and forgiveness was sought, for the almighty is all forgiving and benevolent.

And the dead would finally rest in peace. For after all, the dead rarely lament.

Amen.



Author's note-

If you guys liked the dark theme of the above fiction and do have stomach for much grittier and wicked stuff, stuff that could really get to you- do try this one. ( Darkness in its most wicked form guaranteed.)

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: BLOGGER NAME, Participation Count: 04

59 comments:

C. Suresh said...

You bring out the grittiness of the setting and the people very well!

dreamer said...

what do I say

muthu said...

C. Suresh --

Thank you for your comments.

TTT said...

Amen ... quite a gripping story ...the way you narrated it really holds the attention ...

aativas said...

Gripping story.

I noticed that your post shows the date as 6 October. I am sure it is 7 October (because your post link appears after mine in the BAT post comment). Kindly check your computer calendar/clock.

muthu said...

@ dreamer ---

hmhm... It has been quite a while, since I last wrote something dark and I just felt that I needed a change from all the romance I was writing. And hey you can say- anything you feel like over here. :)

muthu said...

@ TTT

am glad that the fiction held your attention. :)

muthu said...

@ aativas ---

Thank you for your comments and yes, I just corrected my PC's time. :)

Panchali said...

Ewww..that was creepy and dark. Your narration kept me hooked till the end, Muthu.
Immaculate...

Cheap Domain Names Registration Jaipur said...

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just another wake up call said...

Great story Muthu! all three dead and the story truly untold! your descriptions are very crisp! great work!
Sapna, Just another wake up call
http://justanotherwakeupcall.wordpress.com/2012/10/07/family-secrets-an-untold-story-short-story/

nan said...

Narration: Please please please do something about the overly describing the setting .. Somehow makes one feel uninterested .. :(

Story: Dont know why but seemed like a parallel to the dark night story of yours .. I am being so mean :/.

Is a murder only about the blood and/ or torture? I dont know the answer either but I believe there this story is missing something.

Of course this is a good piece of writing but no such a great piece of thinking. Given the kind of thought process you put into writing Tamil poems, this story stands below par.

Apala Sengupta said...

Gory, Yes... but was gripping till the end. vivid descriptions, seemed like for few minutes i was a silent, invisible spectator in that dark alley!


BAT32 - Apala

Siddhesh Kabe said...

Hey this is a very vivid story... excellent.

muthu said...

@ Panchali ---

thank you for your warm comments. :)

muthu said...

Cheap Domain Names Registration Jaipur --

okay. thanks. (!!!)

muthu said...

@ just another wake up call --

thanks for your comments. :)

muthu said...

@ nan --

hmhm.. okay, this I take it as a challenge. Will soon write a fiction about murder that had nothing to do with blood or torture. And I bet it will knock your cocks off. What say??

And yes, I agree with you. I could have done better with this story. :)

muthu said...

@ Apala Sengupta --

Wow- I don't know what to say!! just glad to have you at the dark alley as a spectator. :)

muthu said...

@ Siddhesh Kabe ---

thanks for your comments.... :)

Deepa said...

Eww Eww Double Eww for all the gory stuff! But excellently done! nice use of language! BTW, just noticed, the exact phrase An Untold Story doesn't seem to be used, do confirm with SIS if that's OK - don't get yourself disqualified on that count! ATB for BAT!

jaish_vats said...

A lot of gore Muthu but a very very interesting take. And it was a gripping read!Good luck :)

AYUSHI... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AYUSHI... said...

You were the first to comment on my post... and am so sorry to be so late... That was very well narrated gore story.. it keeps the reads tied till the end... All the very best Muthu...

muthu said...

@ nan -

that's a typho. I meant socks off. Sorry.

muthu said...

@ Deepa --

Thanks for your comments. :)

muthu said...

@ jaish_vats --

thanks for dropping by. :)

muthu said...

@ AYUSHI... --

:) never too late. :) thanks for your comments. :)

Megha said...

Great detailing!!
I almost referred to dictionary.com :D :D I know one thing for sure, if I follow your blog I will improve my vocabulary :P

Jokes apart, I visualized the whole story and yet again a contrasting story for the theme of the month!
All the best for BAT 32 :)

P.S. You have a follower :D

Khushbu Verma said...

Great story Muthu. Ain't u published yet?

muthu said...

@ Megha ---

Thanks a lot for your comments Megha. I had a lot of doubts about how the story was going to be received, as the gore, violence and blood were an essential part of the narration.

Honestly, I did not think this story appeal to a lot of readers but anyways, I wanted to try something extremely dark and violent.(It has been quite a while since I did such a post.)

Also, there are amazing authors out there who you can enjoy reading and at the same time improve your vocabulary.

If you are a fan of romance- try Jennifer cruise. If you like dark stories with a strong alpha male character try lee child. They are extremely entertaining..

Cheers. Keep reading. :)

muthu said...

@ Khushbu Verma --

Thanks a lot. No, I have not been published. And yes, I am interested and trying. :)

Thanks again for those warm words asked. :)

Tanya Sehgal said...

It kept me glued till the very end. Beautifully written story, I am glad I dropped here. Thanks a ton. Take care. Wish you win :)

muthu said...

@ Tanya Sehgal --

Welcome to my blog. am Glad to have you here.

Keep reading. Cheers. :)

(and hey, your Display Picture is awesome. I just cant stop staring at it!!)

Karan Shah said...

amazingly gripping
ATB for BAT :)

Karan Shah said...

amazingly gripping
ATB for BAT :)

muthu said...

@ Karan Shah ---

:) thanks for your comments. :)

Megha said...

Thank you Muthu :) I will try, I liked your story and narration.. :)

odyzz said...

could not move my eye off the screen ...aah !! dark and violent...actually I have a different taste but still I was glued ..Wonderfully narrated..
ATB for BAT



I am here
http://odizzey.wordpress.com/2012/10/07/an-untold-story/

muthu said...

@ Megha ---

Thanks again Megha. Do hang around. I am planning to write some quite interesting stuff. :)

muthu said...

@ odyzz --

Thank you for your comment. Also, If you do have stomach for such really dark stuff - Do try, my other fiction. "In darkness we smile"


:)

odyzz said...

Muthuji ,two in a day will be an overdose...I might not be able to sleep at night ...so I guess will take a short break with few deep breaths and might hang in some time afterwards to read it...Any ways many thanks...

muthu said...

@ odyzz ---

:)

Someone is Special said...

You nailed it muthu. Interesting and gripping narration and I await to read your murder post without any blood/torture :) Wish you Good Luck. Keep writing..

Someone is Special

muthu said...

@ Someone is Special --

:) thanks. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you ever been running a blog for? you make running a blog look easy. The whole look of your website is great, well the content material!

muthu said...

@ Anonymous ---

Thank you. I have been blogging from 2008 and I think, I have learned a lot along the way. I always prefer something simple for layout. Something that is inviting and not intrusive to the readers. Hence the simple white.

Thank-you for your nice comment. Do hang around for more interesting stuff. :)

ARJUN MS said...

Very well written :), ATB for BAT

Do visit my blog :)

muthu said...

@ ARJUN MS ---

Thanks... :)

Diwakar Narayan said...

Loved the plot muthu. Although there was a bit of confusion in the beginning for me, it cleared out later :)

muthu said...

@ Diwakar Narayan ---

Thank-you for your comments. And yes, like @nan commented earlier - the beginning could have been better. Will sure do justice in my next story. Cheers :)

Anonymous said...

Cool blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog jump out. Please let me know where you got your design. Kudos

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Nice Post...Thanks

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muthu said...

@ nancy phill --

Okay. Thanks. :)

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