Curious, questioning, Imaginative, Brutal, Possibly Rhetorical - A salvage of ideas and words, Often as stories - Sometimes as musings.
The Quote -
"Nope, I don't really have anything new to say. but then, I always have something amazing to tell about things that you already know!!"
Saturday, August 16, 2008
The art of acceptance:
It was one of those really bad hair day for me. Things were just not going well. It was not just that. It was like the day was just simply designed to let me know that after all I cannot always have things easy for me. It all started when I was too sleepy to wake up and go for my driving classes in the early morning. My mom tried her best to pry me out of the bed and got on my nerves as a result. You know sometimes you don’t want to do things just because you don’t want to do them. No specific reasons. May be I was too lazy to get my ass up in the morning. May be I am too stubborn to admit that I am too lazy. But whatever It was, it kick started my day in the best possible manner satirically speaking.
By the end of the day I was near my wits end. Even the novel that I was reading started to suck. The television was not working. Must have been some problem at the cable station. I was not able to get my friends on the phone. Even after a lot of attempts I was not able to complete level 17 in the game devil may cry 3 in the very hard mode. Come on for a guy who has just completed his graduation and waiting for my joining date into the corporate life, it couldn’t have gotten worse. I was so – don’t know what to do with time, even my mom felt sorry for me. And that made me feel even more pathetic.
It was in the evening that things really got a bit out of hand. My mom started to go on a charade of how I was wasting my time doing nothing and so on. And she said that how I have been just sitting around doing nothing for the past month. How I could have made myself useful by doing that and this and she went on and on, that I started fighting with her about how she never accepts me for what I am and always wants me to be the guy she wishes me to be.
She has opinions of everything I do and she makes it a point to let me know what she thinks of every thing I do. Like I hate to dress formally all the time. Love my dirty jeans. Hate to wash it. She always wants to get formal clothes for me. Says I look good in it. Oh she doesn’t even seem to acknowledge what I rarely care for. And when I resist she goes on like “being your mom cant I even advice you on how to put on decent clothes”.
Today evening I decided to confront her. My parents were sitting in the hall chatting. I went to them and simply started to take out my frustration by complaining. I said to them they never wanted to accept me as I am. They always wanted what they wanted out of me. They never gave me enough space. Never thought that may be I looked cool in blue jeans. It’s not just the jeans each and every simple thing from what I want to do with my future to my friends.
I went on for may be a while. My mom was very angry and disturbed. She simply said that she did all those because she loved me and went into the kitchen. I was waiting for a large piece of advice from my father. He usually delivers them like those college professors deliver lectures nonchalantly, never to the point. I readied myself for him.
He looked into my eyes and simply said “yeah you do have a point. I can see that you want others to accept you as you are but ……..…..are you accepting others as they are. Your mom for instance”
I looked at him. I was not able to say anything. Simply got up and got out. The evening was slowly changing into a dreamy night. The wind was cool and reassuring.
After a bit of thought I went inside and said sorry to my father. I really couldn’t think of any other thing that would be fit to say.