The naming crisis

The snap-

The post-

I still remember her name. It has been almost 8 or may be 9 years since I met her (I think it was in my 8 th standard summer holidays). It was during one of those summer chess camps which have a string of good and bad memories attached to it. She is a fragment of such a sweet memory a long time ago that I am not able to remember her exact face except for that she was extremely cute and her name was Chudar(meaning a splinter of a flame).


I loved her name. It was short, sweet, interesting and it was in my favorite language – Tamil*.


For people who do not know how kids are named over here in Tamil Nadu – An astrologer is consulted who after examining the birth time of the baby, does some calculations (oh no, not arithmetic – it’s more like based on the nine planets*, they would say – ooh yeah whatever you say dude, whatever you say) and then he selects the starting and ending of the name. Then the parents, having a couple of impossible letters in hand would name the kid which is usually predictable.


If it’s a girl the names Ishwarya, Deepa,Ranjini,Priya are common. If it’s a boy the names Kumar,Arun,Santosh,Muthu are common. And the word Sri is used as an addition for both girl’s names as well as that of the names of the boys (its like – oh you think the name needs a bit more spunk, ok -add Sri before or after the present name ).


It has always been simply a wonder to me – How can parents pay these astrologer guys to pick out names for their kids that are as common as anything. Isn't naming your kid, an absolute joy to yourself? I think every baby finds a unique relationship with their parents even before it’s born. And what amazes me is that the parents think that other people can name the baby better than them.


I think naming a baby defines what that baby means to you. You are inheriting to your kid a very small segment of your culture but of significant value. A name that your son or daughter can relate to and feel a sense of pride in being called and identified by that name. Get creative. You can simply do better than following the crowd in this major event of naming your child. After all your kid is a piece of your own flesh and blood. It’s a private relationship and for Gods sake honor it with the love and ingenuity that it needs.


The real inspiration to write this blog came a few days back when I visited a new born mother and her new born baby boy (apparently a parent is as new born as a kid to see her own flesh and blood smile at her). After spending a while with them, the mother said that she has to name the baby starting with M and she was thinking of Muthu Kumar as a possible nice name. I simply looked at the kid. “Welcome to the clan dude, Welcome to the clan. Hmhm May be we should start collecting royalty money for using our name kid, simply no other go.”

Can boys Cry???

The Snap-

The Tale-


I am a bit of an avid reader and I believe that any good readable stuff must have more than literary finesse. May be, something originally refreshing. May be, something that challenges our present perspective. That would not only make an interesting read but something to reflect upon. I think I came across such a good piece of anecdote and not wanting to spoil it, I am quoting it in its exact words.


---A world famous bull fighter, the epitome of masculinity in his culture, entertained some guests in his villa one evening. After dinner he disappeared and one of the male guests went in search of him. He found the bull fighter wearing an apron and washing the dishes. The guest was appalled and blurted out, “How can you be doing such a feminine thing?” To which the bull fighter replied looking down his nose at the guest: “Whatever I do is masculine.” ---


Wow, the bull fighter did give a very good reply but I think that, there is more to the story than that. The bull fighter boldly challenges the perspective of not only his friend but the perspective of every single reader.

The guest’s attitude simply shows the acceptance of sex – role stereotypes by almost everyone in general, including you and of course also me.

“So what s wrong in associating the characteristics of being bold and brave (a bit bald too– just kidding) to be masculine and that of coyness and tenderness to the fairer sex?”


One may be absolutely right in asking the above question. But by role specifying the sexes, aren’t we becoming a bit too rigidly dogmatic, that we simply forget to be fare to ourselves?


Well, let me think to put it in better words or lets say, in every day circumstances.


I can be a bit of a cry baby. Good books, good movies, whatever touches me, makes me wet my eyes. Sometimes I get caught by my friends in one of those teary moments; they would give me that “dude you crying??? Look”. And of course my “ooh my god, my hand got stuck in the cookie jar” look never ever helps me and I end up feeling real bad that my friend saw me getting mushy.

Now, what’s so bad in a guy crying? Haven’t you guys been to a single movie that moved you that you had tears at the end of the movie. If not, guys you simply don’t know, what you are missing. Pity you. For gods sake there is more to Hollywood than mind blowing action, graphics and yeah of course hot girls. Even Hollywood action movies can pack some real good punches that move you in the end (like brave heart and the guardian).

Also in a way, as easy as it is to behave violently for a guy, it’s as easy for him to have emotional issues. And dude, you know what’s the worst part - guys can do anything better, I mean it anything better than expressing his own needs and feelings.


And of course what’s so obsessive with girls being sweet and soft. I loved it when Anjolina Jolie busted balls in her latest flick (Unless my balls aren’t the ones getting busted). I think that confident women are a real turn on than the usual “damsel in distress”. I simply hate the way regional movies depict love. Almost every single time the hero saves the day (always just in the nick of time) and the heroine simply goes gaga for him. Silly hindi heroines!!!

Girls let me tell you a secret; we guys simply love it when a girl enters a place head held high, hair thrown back, totally confident of herself and with a bold but elegant walk than the usual girl.


So defining stereotypes is too silly and purposeless. As silly as asking Salman Khan to wear shirts(of course nowadays every single hindi hero bares his body at least in a single song. What does the hindi cinema field has against wearing shirts, God only knows.)


So next time you catch your friend crying. Simply leave him be. (You simply missed the part where he got his chops busted by his girl- just kidding). After all, boys too can cry.

Defining divinity

I was just watching Anjolina Jolie fully pregnant, glowing with all the beauty in the world at the premiere of the movie “the kungfu panda” (in which she voices the tigress) on the channel U TV world movies. Moving across the aisle in all her brilliance and loveliness, the gorgeous evening clouds would have been put to shame seeing her floating by, carried by the graciousness of her self.


Well of course Jolie is the heart throb of nearly all the guys on the planet and I am not talking about that. There was something more than a famous actress in her, when I saw her on the television. She is expecting her child. She is a mother to be.
For the people who are thinking “okay now what’s so special about it”, I want to ask what else can be more special than a girl bearing a child.


I try and fail to imagine the magnitude of sheer happiness a girl can feel when she is carrying her child. (Lack of first hand experience, I presume.) The bliss she feels with every kick of her child, the sensation of all her hopes and dreams growing inside her, the feeling of total connection to the unborn, savoring every single move that the baby makes inside her, I can try to imagine and go on and on. But in fact the real list must be endless.


Motherly love has no boundaries and inhibitions. Not always you can see people in absolute pain that’s tearing apart their nerves and so much in eternal happiness, completely satisfied like a mother who has just given birth to her child and is about to pass out. Total love in every sense is divine. Motherly love is in that aspect I think is more than divine. It is incessant.


Nature must have had a really good reason for picking out women to carry the essence of our generation inside her. Whatever may be the reason, I think that she has decided it well.