The Puberty Talk-

The following contains material of mature discussion between my sister and myself and reader discretion is strongly advised. The author does not intend to hurt anyone’s ethics nor their cultural perceptions. The issues raised are but a fragment of quite a few pertinent questions that creep around the fringes of our mind, concealed, camouflaged and forgotten but still breathing, pulsing and very much alive.

The Snap-

Sis- “I wonder why it’s that hard for parents to teach their own kids about Sex, their menstrual periods, related stuff. I think they don’t really know the kind of misinformation that’s rampant among teens especially girls.”

Myself- “Misinformation really. I honestly thought that with internet, face book, chatting and stuff, kids today are more knowledgeable than ever.”

Sis- “You THINK??”

Myself- “Wow, you sound pretty raw!! Why what happened?”

Sis- “hmhm… My friends and I were discussing about our first periods, the way our parents handled us, the problems that we faced, our first education on hygiene during periods and so on …………. and I heard some pretty fucked up stories; Stories that I know to be true but just cannot digest the reality of them.”

Myself- “Okay….”

Sis- “you do know my old roommate! Right? Did you know that she actually believed that she had cancer when she had her first periods? She misinterpreted her bleeding to be associated with cancer and assumed that she was going to die. Imagine her terror as she struggled mentally for 2 months with that misunderstood fact! Thankfully, her mother caught her bleeding during the third month and that put an end to her misery.”

Myself-“Wow- that’s pretty hard to take in”

Sis- “Okay, then you are not going to believe a word of the next one. Happened to one of my class mates. She had her first periods. Her mother helped her clean up. They had the usual ceremony* marking her first menstrual cycle. Then they went on with their lives. They never really talked about what happened. And now again, imagine the state of the girl when her second period starts. She was not just flabbergasted with the unexpected bleeding but ill equipped to handle the situation when it occurred to her in school. Sordid chagrin of a memory.”

Myself-“I…..... I don’t know what to say!!”  

Sis-“Yeah, it does feels daunting! Right? To acknowledge that matured adults are pretty much fumbling in the dark when it comes to dealing with issues on teaching their own children stuff such as periods and sex in a sensible manner. It’s not like I want to generalize but I think the majority of those who rant about the preservation of culture fall under this same category.”

Myself- “hmhm… yeah, that argument can be made. And yes, honesty with regard to such issues between kids and parents are pretty low. But still I am at loss for words. How can such extremes of ignorance exist?”

Sis-“hmhm…  It’s hard to reason it out or explain. In a society such as ours where people want to preserve the idea that they are culturally enigmatic, sometimes gives rise to some pretty messed up scenarios. Some even hilarious!! You know, what happened to me!! ”

Myself- “WHAT?? ”

Sis-  “After my first period mom was explaining to me about hygiene with regard to tampon usage and its proper disposal. You know how she is – quite a stickler for keeping things neat and compartmentalized. She was explaining to me that the best way to manage the stuff to be used during periods was by keeping a separate bag for all the pads and wipes being used. Then she gave bag for me and instructed me to start using it. It was then that I saw a similar bag on the credenza and asked her about it. She shrugged nonchalantly and told me, it was her own bag for her own periods. I looked at her appalled and blurted out “You too have the same periods!!!” ”

* In Tamil Culture, the first Menstrual cycle of the girl is celebrated as a customary ceremony of welcoming her into adulthood. 

Author’s note-

This is not an effort to impart any knowledge, nor any solutions to  bridge the gap that exists between the parents and their child when discussions pertaining to issues of sex, menstruation, hygiene and such are concerned.(I am hardly hardly an expert.) It is just a confirmation of the issues that are at hand and are eating away at the rims of our society. I just want people to take notice. Just want them to ponder for a few seconds. Just want them to be aware. Nothing more. Nothing less. Hence the succinct and sharp tone of the post. 

A perspective war-

Author's note-


A few sketches of random Dialogs often hit us in the face with some fresh perspectives. Sometimes silly, sometimes outrageous, sometimes even unacceptabe but then, don't perspectives make the world what it is?? :)

This post, guys is a conversation I had with my friend a couple of days ago.



The snap--






The dialog-



Pari- "How about you muthu. Will you take any dowry."

Myself- "Nope. I think that dowry in a way degrades the man more than the women. What kind of a man will take money from the women he promises to love and care for."

Pari- "hmhm.... but didn't you say that you want a working girl."

Myself- "Of course, yeah.... I paused for a second.....Why??? Whats wrong with that.. "

Pari- "Well... she going to bring her earnings along with her for life. Isn't that dowry enough."

Myself- "But...... " I paused, my mind scampering for a proper reply and returned back empty handed. I thought aloud. "I have never thought of it that way"

"But then..... " I retaliated. "A marriage is not a buying and a selling issue. You are going to share your life and I wanted a married girl coz I want the girl to be somebody on her own, have a passion of her own, a story of her own."

Pari sighed. "Yeah... yeah... yeah... but then you could not really refuse my argument head on. Could you...."

I replied back. "It's just perspectives my friend. Just perspectives.... "


I had no other reply.





PS-


A happy new year guys. I hope that every single one of you have a great year ahead, do what you guys always wanted to do, get everything that you guys always wished for.


& I wanted to see where the Telangana issue is heading before I write about it as a post. Since this issue rises a lot of questions of rather uncomfortable in nature- I felt it would not do justice unless I write a complete trilogy on the subject. My last trilogy which indeed was my first was a self satisfying, in a way self questioning experience. So, I look forward to write this. Do give me some time.


(If you do wanna try out my Trilogy on sex and society :- Do chk out- the links are- part1 , part2 , part 3 )



See you in my next post guys....

Definitely Dowry – A Short Story

Dowry - The definition –

Money, goods or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage. It has a long history in Europe, South Asia and Africa. Being a conditional gift helping the husband to discharge the responsibilities of marriage, its practice more or less disappeared in Europe in the 19th and 20th century. However the practice grew in South Asia where in some cases delayed or insufficient dowry has made some young wives the victims of torture and sometimes death by the in-laws.

The snap-



The Story:


He slowly opened his eyes, waking himself out of the final traces of slumber and found his hands instinctively reaching out to his side to his newly wed wife. The warmth of her sent a tingle through his skin and just as he lifted his head of the pillow to see whether she was asleep or awake, he felt her hands ruffle through his hair and simply smiled. The room was bathing in the morning’s golden sunlight- warm and lustrous thrusting life into every thing it touches. She got up, walked up to the window and stood there looking outside, the light bounced on her and exploded into a million rainbows. He took a deep breath savoring the loveliness of the morning on his wife and thanked his lucky stars that he got married to this lovely lady, as he got behind her and slightly brushed his lips against her cheek kissing her.

It looked to him as if she was deep in thought and like any new husband ready to impress his wife in a jiffy, he asked her what was on her mind. She looked into his eyes, gave a slow sad smile, then said “Nothing, it was just something I was thinking”

“Something huh???”

“Yeah it’s ok. It’s no big deal”

He stood there looking at his wife ordering some tea through the room service telephone, totally bewildered and stumped, unable to understand why she just blew him off without any answer. He must have stood there for a while; she looked at him, tilted her head as she always does when she questions him and quipped “What?? Why are you staring like that??"

“Nothing, it’s just that I was wondering whats keeping you so lost in thought…….”

She simply sat down at the tea table without showing any intent of responding to the question. What are men supposed to do when they met with such indifference while talking to a girl? After all men are logical creatures, who would rather understand quantum mechanics than the workings of the mind of the fairer sex. Without an inkling of an idea on what to do, he did the right thing, he simply waited for her to answer.


Exasperated with the long silence, he started to contemplate on breaking it with some idle prattle, just then the tea arrived. Eying his large tip, the room service who brought the tea pot gave a big smile and after making sure that the couple did not need any other thing, he left the room as deftly as he entered. The tea was tepidly warm and refreshing. He inhaled the aroma and started to sip it. It gave him something to do rather than to stare at his wife who doesn't seem to acknowledge him.

“Have I been sold to you darling??”

He chocked. Her feminine voice, so calm yet sharp in an morbid manner churned up his insides, rattling him. The tea along with the words and the tone that she delivered them, it couldn’t have been more bizarre. When kicked in the balls by a girl, a guy though in pure torturous pain rarely responds violently instead he simply stands there wondering what in god’s holy name did he do to deserve this. It was in such a state of poetic pity, that the newly married husband was left with.

Women are invariably comfortable with monologues especially when they need to speak their heart out. They just need someone who would listen. Someone who would listen to them seriously, then chide them with a smile and a kiss for thinking things in such a silly pretext.

“It’s the dowry that keeps bugging my mind. I don’t really see the need of it, in the least the reason behind it. Well, it’s not like we are in medieval ages, it’s the 21st century and for heaven’s sake I earn as much as you do. It hurts me plenty to know that I have just been sold to the best bidder. How else can I put the money and property that you and your parents got out of mine? How more pathetic my father could have been blaming the society when I asked the same question to him – Am I being sold?”

She then gave a sardonic smile and brushing away a few strands of hair that were falling to her gloomy eyes; she looked at him and quipped like saying the punch line for a bad joke. “And you know what the real fun part is, not even a single soul understood me, even barely listened to me”

After a second or may be two, he stood up from the tea table and went to her, laying his hands on her shoulder he kissed her forehead, and looking deep in those dark raven black eyes, he said in the most empathizing voice “I understand”. Blossoming flowers drenched in dew were put to shame as her eyes turned moist and she kissed him as if it was the most natural thing to happen and overwhelmed with gratitude, she quipped “Thank You”. He couldn’t have been more understanding.

After a few cherished seconds of cuddled warmth, she gave him a peck on the cheek and went to the bathroom to shower. He moved about to the balcony and after a few seconds of thought, rang up his father in law from his mobile and was greeted by his sleepy voice. After the usual chit chat, the newly married son in law stammered more than a little bit trying to find the right words. “Actually……..I called to confirm……… whether you credited to my account ……… that money you promised”

“No, not yet. I was thinking of transferring it to you in a couple of days. Why? Is there any problem? Are you guys doing OK?”

“Yes of course we are fine. Well, the thing is……. It would be good if it’s done by tomorrow and please don’t let her know that I requested this of you. I mean………. you know her. It would upset her”

The father in law answered with the most empathizing voice “I understand”

The son in law was so overwhelmed with gratitude, that he simply quipped “Thank you”. After all he couldn’t have been more understanding.

The Guidance-- A 55 fiction

The Snap-



The Fiction-


"Papa, He took my ball...... took my ball...."

The child came whining at the top of her unbroken virgin voice.

"It's your ball. Right??"

The six year old looked up at her father and nodded.

"So, What are you going to do about it??"

The sharp question put the child to silent thinking.

Her father just smiled.



Author's note-

A child is an individual with it's own thinking, capabilities and creative intuition. More often I come across parents who feed their children on what to do, rather than kindling their own child's problem solving quotient. In a culture like ours, where kids stay with the parent until almost they get married, I think parents guide their children a little too much.

After all, how many times have we heard parents saying- "I made all the decisions for her till now. I care for her. So wouldn't it be appropriate for me to find her a good suitor."

Parenting is a gift, a bliss. To see a child make it's own mistakes, it's own choices and to take part of it's tears and laughs in it's life is a privilege in it's own right.

ps-
Guys, If you would like to read more of my 55 fictions, kindly do so with given link. Hope you enjoy the same, Cheers.

Sex & the society - Last part of the trilogy

Warning-

Highly Adult content. The post discusses sex, men and women, so people who think they are not mature enough to read about the subject please do not read any further.

The Snap-



The quote-

If People can understand that women too are human beings with sexual desires like everyone else, if the segmentation of sex alone can be defeated, the entire system of prejudice and misunderstanding will take a heavy dent.
And that dent will be the start of a more liberated and dynamic society in every single way.

--muthu

I thought I had all the answers – All the answers to all the questions that would be raised on this particularly controversial topic of sex - a need & a pleasure for both men and women.

A society that has the ability to question and break away from a century of sexual prejudice between men and women can achieve anything. It will be a learned society that will be intelligent enough to question the makers of politics to the brokers of economy. I want to be a part of such a group of people. People who would listen to reason and love rather than to bigotries and hate.

Yeah, but the final question boils down to the singular level. How much do we want to be a part of that society? How much radical are we willing to be? Where will we draw the lines of acceptable and not acceptable, if we are to erase those present now?
How will you react to the situations of controversial nature that may rise in the future? How will I react to the same?

And the question that the Bondgal_rulz posted in the comments section of the last post was right on the bull’s eye.


The kick in the balls -

Bondgal - As we go on vehemently discussing here about issues such as sexual discrimination, sexual liberation, need for people to recognize women too as sexual beings---
Think 20 years down the line. You are a family man, who has a say 19 year old daughter. Will YOU be comfortable enough with her partying out in the night and boozing with her friends?

Muthu- *Scratches the head* *Clears the throat* *After a distant thoughtful look* I think I need time to think.

I feel like I have just been kicked in the balls. Courtesy- Bondgal_rulz. (Yeah sure she rules).



The singular questions-

The question bondgal asked was the beginning of a fresh batch of questions that rose in my mind & every single of those new questions that had a singular trait to them. They questioned me as to how I will react to the scenario on my direct involvement in the prospective future.



--- Will I dominate my wife with my comparatively strong male physicality on subjects our opinions differ rather than trying to convince her of the merit of my stand?

--- How understanding will I be if I am extremely horny and my wife refuses me in the bed saying that she is not in the mood?

--- How much liberal and understanding will I be to my wife on the aspect of her past sexual relationships?

--- How will I react If my daughter says to me- that she is thinking of moving in with her boy friend after she has become a major?

--- Will I be able to accept the fact that my daughter may want to have sex with the guy she is going out in the future (that is when she is major)?

--- Will I be ready to accept and appreciate my daughter or son, if their sexual orientation turns out to be homosexual?

--- What will be my advice to my own daughter on sex, on the ethics of sex, on what the society thinks about sex?


The answers-

I believe myself to be a liberal leaning heavily towards the radical. My opinions have always been blunt and pointedly progressive on the aspects on sexual equality, discrimination based on sex, color & creed. I believe you need not be a supporter of women’s right to see what’s wrong and right. To see what’s prejudiced and what needs a change desperately. But propagandas and beliefs aside, we are all humans who go around with our daily activities.

How much can we be -what we think is right.

I am not going to make statements about how radical I am going to be with my wife & daughter. This after all is not any election campaign. It more of a search of how much I really am of what I propagate.

And the search I believe is infused in the blood and soul of my everyday activity as is the case in yours. In every of our decisions and actions, we express what we believe. And it’s not going to be easy to do things as to say them.



I want to love my mother, sister, future wife, daughter and every other woman I meet without any prejudice or predetermined beliefs. I will desire to give them space and faith that I myself would expect in their shoes. And in that desire I will hold my spirit of seeing the society change for the good.
(And yeah bondgal my daughter will party if she wants to and the only thing I will want to make sure is that she knows what she does. I will want to allow her to make her own decisions, her own rights, her own mistakes- After all it her own life to live.)


The lever of change-

Education is learning from others. And whatever is learned from others will always have a part of them, a part of their own system of values, a part of their own beliefs, prejudices that are passed along. Education will never solve social problems. The only salvation is to self questioning. Self realization.

Every one of us of every segment of the self segregated society that we are, are born to be rejoiced and celebrated. Not to be discriminated. Do you think the child that passionately hugs the bosom of its mother and quenches its thirst suckling knows that what its doing can be also classified as vulgar & not as divine? Our ideas of chastity, sexual morality and concept of discrimination are learned behavior.

And it is in this learned behavior- that we learnt eagerly without questioning its merits and its basis, we have allowed the roots of prejudice and bigoted discriminations to bore deep.

Society in understanding is nothing more than a herd going along with the stride. It would not just be a monumental task but impossibility and a suicide to social life to go against the society.

But of course, the least you could do is to question whats right & ethical rather than to choose to go along with the herd.

And that you can do.Cant you??



Author's note-

The above is the third and last part of the trilogy series I have been writing. So please do read the other two parts to appreciate the conclusion given in this last episode.
Part 1 [link]
Part 2 [link]

In this concluding post, I took the line of what drives each of us individuals personally rather than relying on statistics. Of course the statistics says that In India alone once on two hours one girl gets raped. Two women are subjected to house hold violence. In the course of writing this trilogy, I went through a lot of info on the web about the every aspect of discriminations in every nature that people face.

And I realized something, it isn't ignorance that makes people go along with these prejudices & bigotries but people choose to just follow the crowd rather than questioning things as to why should they be done so in the way they are being done now.

Please, all I ask is to question things. Make it a habit. Inculcate questioning attitude in kids. We are born perfect & all the answers to the questions are within us. But the only way we are going to find those answers within ourselves is though questioning.



PS-

Sorry guys, I took almost a week to publish the concluding post. Unexpectedly, I got stuck in Chennai for almost 4 days and also this is my first time writing about such a heavy topic as a trilogy. Please do leave back your comments and criticisms on my attempt. I have tried to cover every aspect of the problem and people I bow to your comments as they showed me the different perspectives of the problem.

And lastly I sincerely appreciate people who inspired me by reading this trilogy and commenting on it.

Thank you guys.


Will soon post the poems i wrote when I traveled. (I always write when traveling)


Until then.


cheers.

Sex & the society - Part 1 of the trilogy

The Warning –
Highly adult content. Please do not read any further if you think you are not mature enough to discuss about sex, men and women.

The Quote:

Men when they fuck around, they say they do it for fun. Coz they are after all males & it is in their genes to spread their seed. Fucking for fun is not new. Men do it all the time.

So what’s up with women? After all they too are entitled to have their fair share of sexual pleasure. Right??

------ muthu

Guys, if you find the above quote unacceptable, brutal, hurting and blasphemous. Stop reading this now. I repeat. Please stop reading this now. For this post is nothing but an answer to the question I posed above. And it is my opinion and so as always it is the truth as I see it. And the truth in its nakedness stinks a lot.

For others, hang on to my words, for may be, I will throw light on a few rarely discussed topics or may be I will pull you more into the obscurity in which I always wander. Will show you how much we never bother about the preset prejudices that are passed on to us as it has been passed on for generations. Will give you not only some food for thought but I will, may be if you allow me – will muddle a bit with your thoughts. Will show you the best of the bigotries that sex alone can provide. Will give a reason to defy if that’s what you want to do.


All Bigots are welcome to read, but trust me, this post of mine will sting. So better be prepared.


The Inspiration:


I saw the movie DEV D yesterday night. I am happy. The Indian film industry is finally coming of age. A mature movie that deals with love, ego, sex, pain, drugs, booze and salvation. And a hindi movie at that. I was amazed. Apart from all the crap and masalas that bollywood has become, I am glad that movies such as DEV D are made. I am not going to tell more of the movie and spoil it for those who haven’t seen it.

But how about a few questions – a few questions that the movie touched about.



The questions-


Like why is that when men fuck around, He is called a stud.

And when a woman does the same she is called a slut.

Really…. Is stud the male word for slut?

Well, I searched the dictionary- It defines slut as “A promiscuous or disreputable woman” and however much I went through the web and the dictionary there seems to be no male word for slut. So what the dictionary really means is that males being promiscuous are either ignored or celebrated as Studs but alas when the same is done by the fairer sex, she becomes disreputable.

Wow. If you ask me – that’s a load of crap. But what’s even shittier is that this crap seems to be the generally accepted norm.


If men have the right to go around having sex for fun, then why not women I ask. And no, I am not a feminist but you don’t really need to be a feminist to see the logic in this, you just need to be just a normal guy who thinks straight. Are you one of those guys??



No, I am not arguing that women should also go around fucking nor am I a liberator of women to satisfy their sexual needs. Do not be silly and ridiculous. Grow up. All I really want to ask is –



How can we be so bigoted and prejudiced in the most basic issue of all? That is sex.

Where from did we learn to discriminate between women and men as sexual beings?

Where from did we get the guidance and inference?

The general answer to this question with which people would respond is

“We follow the norms of the society”

“It is the system of life that is prepossessed with ideas and we just move along.”




Ok, let me ask you, do you think that you are not a part of the system that is prejudiced and bigoted to its core. Sorry to break it to you my friend. But how more wrong can you be?


You are the system. I am the system. We are the system.





We are those people who have no qualms when passing that MMS of that gal who was caught on tape naked, without any thoughts as to how it will ruin her life. We are those people who listen and gobble up every single word of gossip about the local gal who sleeps around and then comfortably call her a whore. We are those people who do not care about the free navel show and glamour shower that Bollywood is so much associated with but raise questions when an intelligent film about sex is made.

Bollocks. Complete bollocks.

Do you know, what I think is the reason for all this-


I think we are developing a sexual culture of escapism. Nobody wants to confront the facts. Set things right. Be bold for once not caring what other people will think about it. The sad fact remains that sex is not talked about much as much as it is done. And no don’t tell me, I am wrong. Our perpetually growing population supports my hypothesis.

And talking about how to do sex is not what I mean when I say to talk about sex. You do not need an Aristotle to point out what monkeys and apes do without any second thought. But really- Have you ever thought about how the idea of sex is prejudiced, for example. Or how much you are open minded about sex, that is do you want your future partner to be a virgin?

Now that question opens up a whole new can of worms. Doesn’t it?

A can I just got inspired to make a dish of in my next post.



Author’s note-


In the above post, I have not tried to pass any judgments nor express any already formulated opinion. The post is more like a few of my questions-

And my own attempts at answering myself.

I have done a trilogy in the same topic- this post being the first of it. The other two are given below.

Part 2 - Feminist movement - the savior??

Part 3 - Whats really the solution??

I welcome your comments guys and your take on what I have tried to express here. On what you think is right and on what you think is wrong. On what you think is prejudiced and on what you think is silly. Your comments will feed me along with my own thoughts for my follow up post.

If you think, one of your friends would have a good opinion about this post, please do give them the link. And I invite opinions that don’t go along with what I have expressed. I want to know- where we stand as a society.

I would like to see how people react. I would like to get a variety of opinions.


PS-

And for people who haven’t seen the movie DEV D, what are you waiting for? Its one of the most mature movies I have ever seen in Hindi. Chalo yaar, See it soon.


And yeah, guys I had a great time in Kodaikanal.

Lovely weather, yummy chocolates, green valleys, hot and spicy road side corn, flowers of every color imaginable, Roses red enough to take your breath away, a slight drizzle that keeps the chill in the air-
The place is paradise my friends.

Will post about the trip as soon as I am finished with the trilogy. :)


Ciao.

Cheers until then.



Muthu.

The case of the independent canditates -

I actually wrote this as a comment on Ms.De's page but after writing it, I noticed that it has a larger relevance to the Indian political Scenario, so I am posting the same a bit edited and rearranged.


Why should we vote for independent candidates if we think they are worth it?


Our Indian politics is slowly becoming a family business. Every single party this time is putting forth their own family members sons and daughters usually to contest. What they want is to singularize the democracy and to monopolize the ruling institution.

What would be the reason for democracy if each and every time the majority party is going to win the election? If we are not allowing someone like an independent candidate to win the election for once, we will never know how much worth the majority party is or how much of crap the majority party is....

Ok, lets try being more specific. Lets take Mr.Modi for instance.


I am not against Modi. In fact I appreciate a lot of developmental efforts he has put in gujarat. Under him, almost all the sectors and the industries of the state have been considerably developed.


We are educated or atleast we claim so... Think you guys... how do we know how much any government is doing good unless we have a measuring stick and how are we gonna get this measuring stick by always electing the majority party.....

Many claim - Mr.Modi is a lot better than other CMs. He has done to his state a lot more good than a lot other people have done to their states.

Yeah, I too accept that Modi is better than his counter parts in the other states.

But think, you guys,the other CMs being such wastes doesn't make Modi any better... Modi himself is not the God or something... He is too human and he can be improved upon... and Politics desperately needs fresh blood
(and by fresh blood, i do not mean younger generation - if thats the case then varun gandhi would also be fresh blood - Is he???)

By fresh blood I mean, People who can speak for themselves, People who need not hold on to a party propaganda to get elected, People who do get their kicks by throwing words around, People who believe that this country needs to improve a lot and people who would rather embrace new things rather than sticking with the "India has as rich culture and we need to save it" shit.


Modi is of course better than the rest of the CMs. That goes without any questions but what i appreciate about Independent candidates like Mallika is that she is trying to take a stand against the system. The system that has made us cynics, by not ever delivering us what it promised.

Are we here voting to get the best of the bunch. Aren't we a bit too short of choices. Why is that people who try something new are shunned(like independent candidates.....).

Our culture is represented by we people and does not require saving, (hopefully we will look after it) but what abt our country....

We need people like kamarajar in TN. When my father says how he never campaigned but got elected every time, I get goose bumps all over me.... He was so dedicated to people and never cared aboutt himself that he only had 2 pairs of dhotis....

He took the government bus where ever he went and he stood in q at the ration shop.

and all this happened merely three and a half decades ago... I am flabbergasted, what went wrong in these 30 years.....

I am not asking 4 the dedication of kamarajar but at least we people can be true to his soul and provide opportunity one or two new guys..... just to let us know... what we are missing......


So I appreciate from the bottom of my heart the efforts of Mallika and people like her. If she is reading this, let her know there are a lot of people like me supporting her....

India damn sure needs a hell a lot of women like her.



PS :

This in a way is a reply to Ms.De's post on supporting the independent candidate of Mallika. What is written above is just to raise a few questions and not to establish any facts. As I have said before I myself have always loved Modi's dynamism and progressive ideas. But anyways asking a few good humored questions do not mean any harm. Right????

The pitch of perspective – A short story

The snap:




The story may contain a very few common place hindi words and the meaning of them are given at the end of the narration.


The Story:

When he first laid his eyes on the idol, he simply couldn’t understand how people could stand the sight of such a hideous image, let alone pray to it considering it as a holy deity. “The female god of motherly love” was what the temple priests had said when they invited him into the temple. But nothing prepared him for what he would later recall to his friends as “the most ungodly image ever to be prayed as god”. May be he thought to himself being a tourist who is just passing in and out of India without actually dipping his hands into its daily life, it may not be just on his part to judge anything. But praying to a life sized deity of a hideous black faced hag fully smeared with blood,her tongue hanging out grotesquely, with a garland of skulls and a girdle of severed hands around her neck as decoration was a bit too much for him. Goddess Kali – even the name sounded ominous and bleak to him.

And to think that all the crowds around him were jostling about in frenzy like hungry hyenas fighting over the last piece of meat to catch a glimpse of this horrific and ominous deity was really above his comprehension levels. Soaked in sweat in the compressing inner chambers of the temple he started to have second thoughts about his decision to come into this temple. It took a good load of hard shoving, pushing and stumbling across for him to get out of the inner chamber where the deity is housed. He must have been more than relieved when he sat on the much sparsely crowded outer part of the temple and relaxed stretching his arms and legs.

It was as if he was sending out a homing signal to the poor and the needy kids who always frequented the temples of India trying to catch the eyes of some rich guy who would have the heart enough to drop a few coins in their bony arms. He always had a soft corner for children. He placed a ten rupee* note on the hand of the child and saw with satisfaction as the brown eyed girl walked away from him with a gleeful smile and with a purposeful gait. In a few seconds he realized his mistake when the girl returned with a bunch of other kids all desperate for some cash from the kind foreigner. May be if he would have walked away from them at that instant he would not have set into motion the chain of events that was to follow. But fate and god had their own agenda in their minds.

He distributed among the children the few coins he had not knowing he was causing quite a ruckus in the middle of the temple. It must have been in jubilation when one of those kids in his jumping glee tripped and fell down with a helpless wail. It was then that all pandemonium broke loose and before he realized what was happening his bag with his visa and passport was snatched. In a desperate attempt to catch the thief he started to chase after the pick pocket who was running with his bag.

The streets were crooked, narrow and were marked by sharp bends and angles that were so much a characteristic of Indian roads as class and caste to the Indian society. The bustling crowd rushing past him towards the temple immersed in their local celebration compounded to his problems as he tried to keep up with his bag. The sight of some country punk making away with almost all his cash and his identity documents must have sprung some hidden reserve of resolve in his mind that ignoring his heaving lungs that begged him to stop and the pain in his legs that craved for some rest he plodded on. He had to get his bag. He was not going to lose all the cash he had on him in such a fashion. He had to get his bag.

Then suddenly as if in response to some divine command from out of the blue his feet simply refused to obey him and he slowly came to his knees feeling a slow excruciating pain radiating from his chest and just as it dawned on him that he was having a heart attack he collapsed unconscious.

People die everyday, every single hour, minute and second someone is grieving with all his heart and soul over a lost loved one. Life in retrospect can be pretty bleak and uninviting if not for the joy of seeing tomorrow. May be tomorrow it will rain, May be it will snow or even hail, May be it will bring us joy unbound or perhaps it will shut us in eternal gloom. Nobody knows for certain but everyone still looks forward for tomorrow with a word as preposterous as hope in their minds.

And hope was the very last thing that came to his mind when he came awake drenched in his own sweat and fear. He tried to open his eyes and failed – the lids felt heavy like the petals of lotus and his body numbed and weakened pleaded and bargained with him resisting his every attempt to sit up. He heard a jumble of sharp sounds and noises that were too much shrouded in the daze to give any clear idea of where he was. He thought he picked up the clear voice of his 9 year old daughter which slowly faded into the distant racket of a lot of people moving about, a small child crying in hunger, the shrill voice of some one shouting out “help” which slowly melted into dark embers of his sub consciousness facade.

He for once again fell unconscious.

Skeptically speaking, helplessness takes on a complete new meaning for a patient who is at the mercy of doctor to save him who like any of the other working professionals works for the money that is being paid to him. He is not working for free or doing social service for that matter. Then why should anyone feel they owe their life to the doctor for doing his job? But alas the human mind becomes so feeble when it comes to face it's own death that no such thoughts leap up into the mind when you get up from the hospital bed after a close brush with Yama* and realize that the doctor has saved you. And of course it was nothing different with the foreign tourist either.

The bleak wall stared back at him as his eyes tried to focus and the pungent smell that is so much a characteristic of the hospital assaulted his nasal faculties when he rose back to the world of the living again. He felt much better through thoroughly exhausted as he looked into the eyes of the doctor who was checking his vitals. The doctor gave him a calm reassuring smile and said in a gay voice “welcome back”

Funny the coarse voice of the doctor sounded to him like the sweetest baritone that he has ever heard. He for a second felt like jumping with joy, thanking everyone around and relished the feeling of feeling alive. It must be the effect of almost losing something that he cannot bear to do without – his life perhaps. The doctor, who now seemed to have finished with him, got up and seeing his desperation to know where he was calmly averred “Do not worry. You are safe in a hospital. You have had a minor heart attack and you need to rest. We have notified your embassy and they assured they will send their representative over. I have given you a sedative so now try to relax and go back to sleep”

It took a couple of days for him to regain his strength and vitality and by that time he had learned that he was saved by a rickshaw walla* who seeing him collapse on the road had brought him to the nearby hospital where they identified him with the papers they found in his pocket and treated him. Arrangements were made by the embassy for him to be transported to his home country once the doctor gave his health a clean chit and pronounced that he was fit to travel.

It was as he was getting out of the hospital lead by the doctor, thanking him profusely for saving him he saw a middle aged guy wearing a blue lungi* looking at him with curious eyes. The doctor with a smile said “I just did what I had to. If you want to really express your gratitude then thank the rickshaw walla over there. He was the one who brought you here in time to save you.” He turned to see the middle aged guy giving him his best smile with a the sparkle in his eyes. Despite his worn and dirty clothes, prematurely wrinkled face and bare feet on the blistering hot streets, he had the warmth of life clinging to him.

The foreigner rushed forward, caught the rickshaw walla’s hand and with his eyes moist with emotion and voice trembling with gratitude said “Thank you, Thank you. I owe you my life”. The rickshaw walla was embarrassed not used to such open show of appreciation and racked his very very limited English vocabulary to give the foreigner some decent reply. After a few seconds of desperate thought the rickshaw walla folded his hands with extreme reverence and said to the gaping foreigner “Jai Kali Devi*.”


The end.



Rupee* - the currency of India.
Lungi* - a local garment used by the working class.
Yama* - The soul taker at the time of death in accordance to hindu mythology.
rickshaw walla* – one who drives a rickshaw(a pedaled vehicle) for a living.
Jai Kali Devi* - a slogan in the local language Hindi meaning – all the praise goes to the goddess Kali(These words are mistook to be partly English by a lot of locals.).


Author’s note:

Legend says that Kali Devi or Goddess Kali was once a very beautiful lady who was so fond of dancing and also good at it that Lord Shiva – the ultimate god of death, destruction, nirvana, meditation and dance took her to be his pupil. And once when Lord Shiva was sleeping, Kali Devi stepped on his chest too lost in her dancing. Lord Shiva in his temper cursed the one who stepped on his chest to be as horrible looking as one can be. When he got up and realized his mistake, he gave Kali Devi the power to become a destroyer of evil as he could not take back the curse and thus was born the God of motherly love and paradoxically also the destroyer of evil. Silly as the story may sound but every culture in the world has its own belief systems which when viewed by someone outside may be too much to understand.

For further information on Kali Devi, kindly visit the following link.

Words and Politics :

How more trivial and how more silly can politics be played –

At a time when the politicians should be giving good future plans and assurances that would solve the various tangles India seems to be perceptually lost in, they are playing blame game in the most childish manner. How more can a important national leader Mr.Advani degrade our entire political system by calling the present Prime Minister of India, the weakest PM ever. Of course he has the right to give criticisms but he should be critiquing the flaws in his plans, activities or on his agenda. And what’s more worse, The PM crediting his words by replying him.

The above is just a pint of the gallons of words that are thrown by the politicians on one another. There is no need to write those cock and bull stories and glorify them like the media is unconsciously doing so now by publishing every crap that gets thrown around. One can never become better by calling others names.

Good politics comes only through respectable politics which every single politician in our country seems to have forgotten, a country which has cradled the best of the diplomats and leaders - Gandhi, Nehru, Anna, Patel to name just a few.

May be Respectable politics is a bit too much to ask, so how about decent politics. Is that too hard for people who are campaigning today (assuring free TVs and stuff on their agenda instead of a good futuristic plan to boost the country) to contrive.

I remember the quote from the movie –

V for Vendetta –

“While the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation. Words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning and for those who will listen the enunciation of truth and the truth is there is something terribly wrong with this country, Isn’t there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerability and depression……….. How did this happen who is to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than the others and they will be held accountable and again truth be told if you are looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.”


Brutal may be the above quote but I believe that naked truth in it is what makes it so brutal. Remember Chanakya’s words the country goes into ruins not because of the action of the bad people but because of the inaction of the good people……


So spread the word to vote for those people who will act responsible, form a public opinion on who would be the best candidate in your area, Look into the history of these people who ask for your votes, don’t get off track listening to people having word battle, you have a more important job in your hand than them – selecting them, I still strongly believe……


Words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning and for those who will listen the enunciation of truth.


So spread the word……..

What makes a celebrity?

Is it their charisma, good looks, their lineage (well, one can get noticed simply by being born to a celebrity couple) their association with the media which in most cases happens to be the movies or reality television (No new surprises there), and may be some more good looks. But really

Is that it to become a celebrity?

Well looking into the dictionary, there are 2 definitions for celebrity.


1. A widely known person.

2. The state or quality of being widely honored and acclaimed.


OK. The definition meant is understandable. But not every widely known person has the quality of being honored and acclaimed. Then what may I ask is the difference between celebrities like Mother Teresa and celebrities like Abishek Bachan.
Hmhmhm…… To sort out the difference I think it would be better if I am a bit blunt.


Ok.... Lets take Abishek Bachan – He got Rajasthan’s most coveted honor award last year and what is his achievement – he acts in movies (Hey dude, that’s his job and for god’s sake he is not even that good at it) and please do note that He doesn’t even live in Rajasthan anymore. It seems he hails from there. And what’s his latest achievement – He made a world record for the most number of public appearances by a celebrity in a single day.

Wow – now that’s a worthy record. Come on who else can do something so meaning less and so so childish a record as such other than our rising star of Indian cinema – Abishek Bachan.


Lets take my another favorite example.


Nayanthara – a south Indian movie star who is primarily based in Tamil Nadu won the much coveted kalaimamani viruthu* (which roughly translates as the artist of immense talents) and the fun part is this girl simply doesn’t even act. You don’t believe me. Ask anyone who has seen anyone of her films. Then you may tend to ask how she sustains in the industry. Well, she moves across the screen in provoking attires, hmhm hmhm……… that’s it. She rarely does anything with any minute indication of a semblance of acting on the screen.


But still the Tamil Nadu Government had to give her the award, after she was born beautiful and that in itself makes her much of an artist, doesn’t it??


Dr.Vijay – He is an actor also based in Tamil Nadu who was given honorary Dr Degree appreciating the work he has done in his field. Vijay has done two or three good films including his blockbuster movie Ghilli but he has yet hell of a long way to go before he is awarded such a huge title that was given to cine field geniuses like Dr.Kamalahasan. And the fun fact about actor Vijay is that I have never for once seen him make one decent and intelligent interview in his whole career which is of course is too much to ask of him anyway.


And What does Vijay TV do to show its appreciation to his one hell of an actor (Hmhmhm who really gave the title actor to these guys – you need to act to be an actor), The channel celebrates his birthday in a grand manner. Wow dude When was the last time you wished your mom on her birthday but that of course is different you can’t market your mothers birthday? Can you? Hmhm… I think will kindly refuse. She isn’t that dumb, I suppose.


The awards and honors that have been stated above are just the tip of the ice berg. Looking into the media scenario, the line between the worthy and the famous are pretty blurred. And the government awards that are meant to put these lines in the right places aren’t doing their jobs right.


May be, they are getting a bit of money under the table to favor the famous or they are simply too dumb. How else could you explain South Indian actor based in Tamil Nadu Silambarasan getting the Kalaimamani Virithu*? And sorry critiquing Silambarasan, his father T.R.Rajendhar goes beyond my credible capabilities. And if you really wanna know about them, youtube these guys and watch their interviews for yourself. It’s pretty pathetic, their silliness easily shows.


May be money can buy you anything but credentials and awards should always go to the deserving. If it isn’t so, the award simply loses its value just like the way the honorary titles in India have become. It’s a pity especially in the Oriental land that gave birth to the geniuses such as Akira Kurosowa, A.R.Rahman and Mani Ratnam.

The naming crisis

The snap-

The post-

I still remember her name. It has been almost 8 or may be 9 years since I met her (I think it was in my 8 th standard summer holidays). It was during one of those summer chess camps which have a string of good and bad memories attached to it. She is a fragment of such a sweet memory a long time ago that I am not able to remember her exact face except for that she was extremely cute and her name was Chudar(meaning a splinter of a flame).


I loved her name. It was short, sweet, interesting and it was in my favorite language – Tamil*.


For people who do not know how kids are named over here in Tamil Nadu – An astrologer is consulted who after examining the birth time of the baby, does some calculations (oh no, not arithmetic – it’s more like based on the nine planets*, they would say – ooh yeah whatever you say dude, whatever you say) and then he selects the starting and ending of the name. Then the parents, having a couple of impossible letters in hand would name the kid which is usually predictable.


If it’s a girl the names Ishwarya, Deepa,Ranjini,Priya are common. If it’s a boy the names Kumar,Arun,Santosh,Muthu are common. And the word Sri is used as an addition for both girl’s names as well as that of the names of the boys (its like – oh you think the name needs a bit more spunk, ok -add Sri before or after the present name ).


It has always been simply a wonder to me – How can parents pay these astrologer guys to pick out names for their kids that are as common as anything. Isn't naming your kid, an absolute joy to yourself? I think every baby finds a unique relationship with their parents even before it’s born. And what amazes me is that the parents think that other people can name the baby better than them.


I think naming a baby defines what that baby means to you. You are inheriting to your kid a very small segment of your culture but of significant value. A name that your son or daughter can relate to and feel a sense of pride in being called and identified by that name. Get creative. You can simply do better than following the crowd in this major event of naming your child. After all your kid is a piece of your own flesh and blood. It’s a private relationship and for Gods sake honor it with the love and ingenuity that it needs.


The real inspiration to write this blog came a few days back when I visited a new born mother and her new born baby boy (apparently a parent is as new born as a kid to see her own flesh and blood smile at her). After spending a while with them, the mother said that she has to name the baby starting with M and she was thinking of Muthu Kumar as a possible nice name. I simply looked at the kid. “Welcome to the clan dude, Welcome to the clan. Hmhm May be we should start collecting royalty money for using our name kid, simply no other go.”

The art of acceptance:

The Snap-

The Event-

It was one of those really bad hair day for me. Things were just not going well. It was not just that. It was like the day was just simply designed to let me know that after all I cannot always have things easy for me. It all started when I was too sleepy to wake up and go for my driving classes in the early morning. My mom tried her best to pry me out of the bed and got on my nerves as a result. You know sometimes you don’t want to do things just because you don’t want to do them. No specific reasons. May be I was too lazy to get my ass up in the morning. May be I am too stubborn to admit that I am too lazy. But whatever It was, it kick started my day in the best possible manner satirically speaking.

By the end of the day I was near my wits end. Even the novel that I was reading started to suck. The television was not working. Must have been some problem at the cable station. I was not able to get my friends on the phone. Even after a lot of attempts I was not able to complete level 17 in the game devil may cry 3 in the very hard mode. Come on for a guy who has just completed his graduation and waiting for my joining date into the corporate life, it couldn’t have gotten worse. I was so – don’t know what to do with time, even my mom felt sorry for me. And that made me feel even more pathetic.

It was in the evening that things really got a bit out of hand. My mom started to go on a charade of how I was wasting my time doing nothing and so on. And she said that how I have been just sitting around doing nothing for the past month. How I could have made myself useful by doing that and this and she went on and on, that I started fighting with her about how she never accepts me for what I am and always wants me to be the guy she wishes me to be.

She has opinions of everything I do and she makes it a point to let me know what she thinks of every thing I do. Like I hate to dress formally all the time. Love my dirty jeans. Hate to wash it. She always wants to get formal clothes for me. Says I look good in it. Oh she doesn’t even seem to acknowledge what I rarely care for. And when I resist she goes on like “being your mom cant I even advice you on how to put on decent clothes”.

Today evening I decided to confront her. My parents were sitting in the hall chatting. I went to them and simply started to take out my frustration by complaining. I said to them they never wanted to accept me as I am. They always wanted what they wanted out of me. They never gave me enough space. Never thought that may be I looked cool in blue jeans. It’s not just the jeans each and every simple thing from what I want to do with my future to my friends.

I went on for may be a while. My mom was very angry and disturbed. She simply said that she did all those because she loved me and went into the kitchen. I was waiting for a large piece of advice from my father. He usually delivers them like those college professors deliver lectures nonchalantly, never to the point. I readied myself for him.

He looked into my eyes and simply said “yeah you do have a point. I can see that you want others to accept you as you are but ……..…..are you accepting others as they are. Your mom for instance”

I looked at him. I was not able to say anything. Simply got up and got out. The evening was slowly changing into a dreamy night. The wind was cool and reassuring.

After a bit of thought I went inside and said sorry to my father. I really couldn’t think of any other thing that would be fit to say.

Is the title BE really worth it......

Today i have completed my engineering degree.... I look back with several thoughts in my mind at what i have achieved in the past four years. Of course from now on i will be able to announce myself as a graduate to the world.

But what have i achieved in an intellectual sense?
What educational value does the degree i hold have?
Or Is the degree i hold has value as nothing but a degree?

I have majored in electronics and communication field. I have been placed in a software concern. Whats the real use of my gained knowledge in mobile communication and other electronics related stuff now???

I feel kind of empty even after spending 4 years in pursuing BE....

Where have i gone wrong? Why wasn't I able to judge what course in BE I would relate to when i was attending council ling 4 years before.

I can still remember with vivid colors the day i went for BE council ling. The long phone calls my father placed to almost every single graduate he knows to enquire the present trend(and the funny thing is most of his graduate friends completed their BE a decade ago),their diversified opinions which never had an end to them, the blank expressions that my father gave me when the most reputed of the colleges got filled, the way everyone went to a battle for electronics and communication branch, and to see after all these years that i have been just another gladiator in that arena......

I feel like I might have taken a better decision if i am to take now. Yes, Of course every body makes better decisions the second time,but i really wasn't equipped to take my decision at that time. I did not know that the exam system in BE is so full of holes that whatever branch i take i will end up with good marks and with practical knowledge nil.

Well people can argue that if you are interested then you would have studied what you wanted to learn. After all "hunger gets what hunger wants".

Yes, I agree with the notion. But if education is about self interest, what part does the education system play in it. I might have been well of by studying the needed skills via the net along with doing the needed software courses for my aim as a gaming programmer rather than wasting the four years of my life for attaining a degree. So how has the education system really helped me.

The exams that I have faced in my BE have always been of the same pattern with 5 sixteen mark questions. I personally think that this question paper cannot estimate one's understanding of the subject, but again Is BE really about understanding the subject?

The only solution that may answer this problem is diversification of the engineering education system. Students must be given the choice of selecting their subjects with their courses which must be in sync with their future career interests. They must be fed with the pros and cons of what they are doing.

This would not only answer to the call of the students but also give the student an identity in his future and he would not be "just another software engineer" who is graded based on how much his annual income is rather than what his knowledge and skill is all about. This would not only allow us to polish our students for future potential employment but also create employers.

And nowadays when I answer to my junior friends on what college to take and what course to pursue in BE, I stick to " Make your own decisions. BE is not about making the right career choice but making your own choice the right one. After all "hunger gets what hunger wants"