Sex & the society - Last part of the trilogy

Warning-

Highly Adult content. The post discusses sex, men and women, so people who think they are not mature enough to read about the subject please do not read any further.

The Snap-



The quote-

If People can understand that women too are human beings with sexual desires like everyone else, if the segmentation of sex alone can be defeated, the entire system of prejudice and misunderstanding will take a heavy dent.
And that dent will be the start of a more liberated and dynamic society in every single way.

--muthu

I thought I had all the answers – All the answers to all the questions that would be raised on this particularly controversial topic of sex - a need & a pleasure for both men and women.

A society that has the ability to question and break away from a century of sexual prejudice between men and women can achieve anything. It will be a learned society that will be intelligent enough to question the makers of politics to the brokers of economy. I want to be a part of such a group of people. People who would listen to reason and love rather than to bigotries and hate.

Yeah, but the final question boils down to the singular level. How much do we want to be a part of that society? How much radical are we willing to be? Where will we draw the lines of acceptable and not acceptable, if we are to erase those present now?
How will you react to the situations of controversial nature that may rise in the future? How will I react to the same?

And the question that the Bondgal_rulz posted in the comments section of the last post was right on the bull’s eye.


The kick in the balls -

Bondgal - As we go on vehemently discussing here about issues such as sexual discrimination, sexual liberation, need for people to recognize women too as sexual beings---
Think 20 years down the line. You are a family man, who has a say 19 year old daughter. Will YOU be comfortable enough with her partying out in the night and boozing with her friends?

Muthu- *Scratches the head* *Clears the throat* *After a distant thoughtful look* I think I need time to think.

I feel like I have just been kicked in the balls. Courtesy- Bondgal_rulz. (Yeah sure she rules).



The singular questions-

The question bondgal asked was the beginning of a fresh batch of questions that rose in my mind & every single of those new questions that had a singular trait to them. They questioned me as to how I will react to the scenario on my direct involvement in the prospective future.



--- Will I dominate my wife with my comparatively strong male physicality on subjects our opinions differ rather than trying to convince her of the merit of my stand?

--- How understanding will I be if I am extremely horny and my wife refuses me in the bed saying that she is not in the mood?

--- How much liberal and understanding will I be to my wife on the aspect of her past sexual relationships?

--- How will I react If my daughter says to me- that she is thinking of moving in with her boy friend after she has become a major?

--- Will I be able to accept the fact that my daughter may want to have sex with the guy she is going out in the future (that is when she is major)?

--- Will I be ready to accept and appreciate my daughter or son, if their sexual orientation turns out to be homosexual?

--- What will be my advice to my own daughter on sex, on the ethics of sex, on what the society thinks about sex?


The answers-

I believe myself to be a liberal leaning heavily towards the radical. My opinions have always been blunt and pointedly progressive on the aspects on sexual equality, discrimination based on sex, color & creed. I believe you need not be a supporter of women’s right to see what’s wrong and right. To see what’s prejudiced and what needs a change desperately. But propagandas and beliefs aside, we are all humans who go around with our daily activities.

How much can we be -what we think is right.

I am not going to make statements about how radical I am going to be with my wife & daughter. This after all is not any election campaign. It more of a search of how much I really am of what I propagate.

And the search I believe is infused in the blood and soul of my everyday activity as is the case in yours. In every of our decisions and actions, we express what we believe. And it’s not going to be easy to do things as to say them.



I want to love my mother, sister, future wife, daughter and every other woman I meet without any prejudice or predetermined beliefs. I will desire to give them space and faith that I myself would expect in their shoes. And in that desire I will hold my spirit of seeing the society change for the good.
(And yeah bondgal my daughter will party if she wants to and the only thing I will want to make sure is that she knows what she does. I will want to allow her to make her own decisions, her own rights, her own mistakes- After all it her own life to live.)


The lever of change-

Education is learning from others. And whatever is learned from others will always have a part of them, a part of their own system of values, a part of their own beliefs, prejudices that are passed along. Education will never solve social problems. The only salvation is to self questioning. Self realization.

Every one of us of every segment of the self segregated society that we are, are born to be rejoiced and celebrated. Not to be discriminated. Do you think the child that passionately hugs the bosom of its mother and quenches its thirst suckling knows that what its doing can be also classified as vulgar & not as divine? Our ideas of chastity, sexual morality and concept of discrimination are learned behavior.

And it is in this learned behavior- that we learnt eagerly without questioning its merits and its basis, we have allowed the roots of prejudice and bigoted discriminations to bore deep.

Society in understanding is nothing more than a herd going along with the stride. It would not just be a monumental task but impossibility and a suicide to social life to go against the society.

But of course, the least you could do is to question whats right & ethical rather than to choose to go along with the herd.

And that you can do.Cant you??



Author's note-

The above is the third and last part of the trilogy series I have been writing. So please do read the other two parts to appreciate the conclusion given in this last episode.
Part 1 [link]
Part 2 [link]

In this concluding post, I took the line of what drives each of us individuals personally rather than relying on statistics. Of course the statistics says that In India alone once on two hours one girl gets raped. Two women are subjected to house hold violence. In the course of writing this trilogy, I went through a lot of info on the web about the every aspect of discriminations in every nature that people face.

And I realized something, it isn't ignorance that makes people go along with these prejudices & bigotries but people choose to just follow the crowd rather than questioning things as to why should they be done so in the way they are being done now.

Please, all I ask is to question things. Make it a habit. Inculcate questioning attitude in kids. We are born perfect & all the answers to the questions are within us. But the only way we are going to find those answers within ourselves is though questioning.



PS-

Sorry guys, I took almost a week to publish the concluding post. Unexpectedly, I got stuck in Chennai for almost 4 days and also this is my first time writing about such a heavy topic as a trilogy. Please do leave back your comments and criticisms on my attempt. I have tried to cover every aspect of the problem and people I bow to your comments as they showed me the different perspectives of the problem.

And lastly I sincerely appreciate people who inspired me by reading this trilogy and commenting on it.

Thank you guys.


Will soon post the poems i wrote when I traveled. (I always write when traveling)


Until then.


cheers.

Sex & the society - Part 2 of the trilogy

Warning-

Adult content. Please do not read any further if you think you are not mature enough to discuss about sex, men and women.

The Quote:

It is at the moment we start to talk about equality between men and women; we unknowingly acknowledge that there is discrimination between the same.

-----Muthu

Are you a feminist – a supporter of the women’s liberation movement?

For People who don’t know about the feminist movement-
Feminist movement – The definition. (Courtesy- Wikipedia)

The Suffrage movement (also known as the Women's Movement or Women's Liberation) is a series of campaigns on issues such as reproductive rights (sometimes including abortion), domestic violence, maternity leave, equal pay, sexual harassment, and sexual violence. Feminism is a struggle against sexist oppression. It is necessarily a struggle to eradicate the ideology of domination that permeates Western culture on various levels.


So, now that you know about the feminist movement- tell me-

Are you a part of it?

Do you want to be a part of it?

Do you know what I think? I think feminist movements can never be a lasting solution for what we have in our hands. And what we have in your hands is a society – with manifestations of century long prejudice not only in habits, customs, religion and culture but the depth to which things are predetermined is so colossal, that even the language that we speak has its scars.

How else am I to explain why people when afraid are termed as pussies? Or the fact that people when they behave idiotically without any consideration for others are called as a prick?

Sexual discrimination like any kind of discrimination is a sword without a handle. It doesn’t really matter whether men use it against women or women use it against men, both will always end up hurt.



I am not heartless & insensitive because I am a male nor any girl is gutless just because she is a female. Grow up. I ask for how long are you going to believe in those age-old agendas.Agendas that are too silly to say that things like them even exist – Like,


---If married people can have sex and unmarried people cannot, then “Is Marriage - a publicly punched license to have sex?”

---If women who are good to look & are sexy create the desire in men to molest them, then “Are men, such wimps that they don’t have any control over themselves?”

---If divorced women always finds it hard to get remarried than divorced men. Then “Does marriage tarnish women but leaves men alone pure?”


Bollocks. Complete bollocks.


I believe fighting for feminism or for the cause of women is not going to help anyone in the long run.When someone campaigns for a feminist cause, they in all their good intentions do the devils work for the devil. They separate men and women in the name of feministic ideologies. Feminist supporters and opposers make a war- a war of debates, ideologies, arguments and controversies.




And the only thing history has taught us always is that war does not yield much. Be it peace or a solution to a stigma of century’s long discrimination.


Do you really think a feminist movement---

--- Can change the attitude of a male who wants to lose his virginity before marriage but expects his wife to be a virgin waiting for him to deflower her?

--- Can make every man realize that rape is not a crime against women by against the entire fabric of humanity?

--- Can assure a married girl that her husband will love her enough to give her space for her to grow as an individual?

--- Can go save every girl who at this second, as you are reading this post is being harassed physically or emotionally?

Of course, they can’t. The Feminist movements and NGOs how much ever they want to make a difference do have their limitations. But my billion dollar question is rather unrelated to any feminist movement. It is rather simple.

------ Do girls really need saving? Or is it the rest of the world that needs to wakeup?

The question I would try to battle with in my next and the final post in the trilogy.


Author's note-

This is the second part of a trilogy. So people do read the first and last part to completely appreciate the second-

 [Sex and the society - Part one of the trilogy]
 [Sex and the society - Last part of the trilogy]

Guys, I took my time in writing the second part of the trilogy to make the argument strong and also crisp & pointed. Also I did not want to take the line of bashing up the existing system as it would rather get rhetorical as the list of discrimination and bigotries existing are endless. I wanted to question ourselves as to whats the solution to this and that I hope I have done that well. And I am not against the feminist movement. Its just that I believe that it cannot make a lasting solution. It cannot change the mentality of the all prejudiced people and thats what we immediately need in the present scenario.

PS-

I want to thanks for all the comments posted on the first part of the trilogy esp the comments of Keshi, Shakthi, Srini, Vinnie, Rajlakshi, Diya, Preposterous girl and one anonymous. I hope my second post have given you a depth of the corrupted bigotry of the society that has become ours. The comments not only gave food for my thoughts but also have raised a lot of questions in me. Guys do go through those comments in the first part of the trilogy for I think the comments gave a lot of new angles and problems we will have to counter. And I assure you I will try to find the answers to those questions & also to the questions I myself have raised in the these 2 posts in my final post for the trilogy.


And I am off to Chennai for a couple of days for an urgent work guys. I will be back by Monday. And will post the last segment by monday evening.


Cheers.

Until then.


muthu.

Sex & the society - Part 1 of the trilogy

The Warning –
Highly adult content. Please do not read any further if you think you are not mature enough to discuss about sex, men and women.

The Quote:

Men when they fuck around, they say they do it for fun. Coz they are after all males & it is in their genes to spread their seed. Fucking for fun is not new. Men do it all the time.

So what’s up with women? After all they too are entitled to have their fair share of sexual pleasure. Right??

------ muthu

Guys, if you find the above quote unacceptable, brutal, hurting and blasphemous. Stop reading this now. I repeat. Please stop reading this now. For this post is nothing but an answer to the question I posed above. And it is my opinion and so as always it is the truth as I see it. And the truth in its nakedness stinks a lot.

For others, hang on to my words, for may be, I will throw light on a few rarely discussed topics or may be I will pull you more into the obscurity in which I always wander. Will show you how much we never bother about the preset prejudices that are passed on to us as it has been passed on for generations. Will give you not only some food for thought but I will, may be if you allow me – will muddle a bit with your thoughts. Will show you the best of the bigotries that sex alone can provide. Will give a reason to defy if that’s what you want to do.


All Bigots are welcome to read, but trust me, this post of mine will sting. So better be prepared.


The Inspiration:


I saw the movie DEV D yesterday night. I am happy. The Indian film industry is finally coming of age. A mature movie that deals with love, ego, sex, pain, drugs, booze and salvation. And a hindi movie at that. I was amazed. Apart from all the crap and masalas that bollywood has become, I am glad that movies such as DEV D are made. I am not going to tell more of the movie and spoil it for those who haven’t seen it.

But how about a few questions – a few questions that the movie touched about.



The questions-


Like why is that when men fuck around, He is called a stud.

And when a woman does the same she is called a slut.

Really…. Is stud the male word for slut?

Well, I searched the dictionary- It defines slut as “A promiscuous or disreputable woman” and however much I went through the web and the dictionary there seems to be no male word for slut. So what the dictionary really means is that males being promiscuous are either ignored or celebrated as Studs but alas when the same is done by the fairer sex, she becomes disreputable.

Wow. If you ask me – that’s a load of crap. But what’s even shittier is that this crap seems to be the generally accepted norm.


If men have the right to go around having sex for fun, then why not women I ask. And no, I am not a feminist but you don’t really need to be a feminist to see the logic in this, you just need to be just a normal guy who thinks straight. Are you one of those guys??



No, I am not arguing that women should also go around fucking nor am I a liberator of women to satisfy their sexual needs. Do not be silly and ridiculous. Grow up. All I really want to ask is –



How can we be so bigoted and prejudiced in the most basic issue of all? That is sex.

Where from did we learn to discriminate between women and men as sexual beings?

Where from did we get the guidance and inference?

The general answer to this question with which people would respond is

“We follow the norms of the society”

“It is the system of life that is prepossessed with ideas and we just move along.”




Ok, let me ask you, do you think that you are not a part of the system that is prejudiced and bigoted to its core. Sorry to break it to you my friend. But how more wrong can you be?


You are the system. I am the system. We are the system.





We are those people who have no qualms when passing that MMS of that gal who was caught on tape naked, without any thoughts as to how it will ruin her life. We are those people who listen and gobble up every single word of gossip about the local gal who sleeps around and then comfortably call her a whore. We are those people who do not care about the free navel show and glamour shower that Bollywood is so much associated with but raise questions when an intelligent film about sex is made.

Bollocks. Complete bollocks.

Do you know, what I think is the reason for all this-


I think we are developing a sexual culture of escapism. Nobody wants to confront the facts. Set things right. Be bold for once not caring what other people will think about it. The sad fact remains that sex is not talked about much as much as it is done. And no don’t tell me, I am wrong. Our perpetually growing population supports my hypothesis.

And talking about how to do sex is not what I mean when I say to talk about sex. You do not need an Aristotle to point out what monkeys and apes do without any second thought. But really- Have you ever thought about how the idea of sex is prejudiced, for example. Or how much you are open minded about sex, that is do you want your future partner to be a virgin?

Now that question opens up a whole new can of worms. Doesn’t it?

A can I just got inspired to make a dish of in my next post.



Author’s note-


In the above post, I have not tried to pass any judgments nor express any already formulated opinion. The post is more like a few of my questions-

And my own attempts at answering myself.

I have done a trilogy in the same topic- this post being the first of it. The other two are given below.

Part 2 - Feminist movement - the savior??

Part 3 - Whats really the solution??

I welcome your comments guys and your take on what I have tried to express here. On what you think is right and on what you think is wrong. On what you think is prejudiced and on what you think is silly. Your comments will feed me along with my own thoughts for my follow up post.

If you think, one of your friends would have a good opinion about this post, please do give them the link. And I invite opinions that don’t go along with what I have expressed. I want to know- where we stand as a society.

I would like to see how people react. I would like to get a variety of opinions.


PS-

And for people who haven’t seen the movie DEV D, what are you waiting for? Its one of the most mature movies I have ever seen in Hindi. Chalo yaar, See it soon.


And yeah, guys I had a great time in Kodaikanal.

Lovely weather, yummy chocolates, green valleys, hot and spicy road side corn, flowers of every color imaginable, Roses red enough to take your breath away, a slight drizzle that keeps the chill in the air-
The place is paradise my friends.

Will post about the trip as soon as I am finished with the trilogy. :)


Ciao.

Cheers until then.



Muthu.