Friday, May 29, 2009

Alone in the crowd – 55 fiction

The Snap- The sport





Attempt 1- Sweet.


She was suffocating on the air she was breathing.

The jostling crowd around her, the cacophony that was soaking the stadium, the final match of her favorite club – every single thing that had her attention till then, faded away obsolete.

She felt alone & was in bliss. Her love was on his knee.

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The Snap- The crowd & cacophony-





Attempt2- Sour.

She looked around bored.

The jostling crowd, the cacophony & the stupid match - everything bored.

But she did not care anyways. She was there.

Better to be alone in this crowd than in her room, whose four walls of late have been complaining too much about how they never get their privacy.

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Attempt3- Salty.

“I miss you- alone without you in this crowd” She typed & sent the message.

“Me too” came the reply.

She smiled & then joined in the rhythm of the match cheering with the guy she was with today.

The message did not even transcend towers. After all both the mobiles were inside the same stadium.


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The Snap- The cheering & jeering-




Attempt4- Bitter.

Up & down she went,

Jumping & shouting with the crowd around her, her cheers lost in the cacophony of the stadium but she did not give up.

A few tears flew in a few directions.

Her lone voice broke. But still she shouted. If only her son wasn’t stillborn on that day, he would be here now shouting with her.

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Author's note-


The following 55 fictions are all based on the same Idea -Being alone in the crowd(Inspired by Keshi when she commented about it in my last post.) So i dedicate this series of 55 fiction to her. Gal, I hope I did justice to your Idea. :)

I have tried to bring out the different tastes that can be involved in the same scenario playing around with the four basic tastes. Sweetness, sourness, saltiness and bitterness. Guys, do tell me- how did you like my recipe.





If you like this kind of playing around with 55 fictions dealing with the same Idea but having different tastes, then- You should try out my previous such attempts.

-- About a girl crying[link]

-- About prostitutes[link]


PS-

Guys, I am actually pretty much in the middle of writing a pretty much bold, aggressive post. A post about gender and what I think is the most bigoted issue of all thats affecting us as a sexual being. I want to make the argument in the post strong, so I am taking my time. Will post it soon.

And yeah, I am going to kodaikanal - A hill station in TN this weekend with my family. So I will be out of blog ville for a couple of days. Will catch up with you guys when I get back most probably on Monday. :)

30 comments:

  1. Wow, well written!

    Keep writing!

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  2. too too good.. yeah 2 times too..
    this 55 fiction thing is awesome..

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  3. all 4 were nice...ur recipe is tasty!
    do take pics at kodai...have fun!

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  4. I adore ur 55th thing ..... How a good one at kodai !!! Adios ....

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  5. @ meera - thanks 4 you comments yaar. keep visiting.... :)

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  6. @ Richa - thanks 4 your compliments Richa...

    cheers.. :)

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  7. @ vinnie - Glad U found them tasty yaar.. :)

    yeah, sure will take snaps and do a post abt the trip.. :D

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  8. @ Rahul viswanath - Thanks yaar...

    I am planning to have a good one...

    cheers then. :)

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  9. This was awesome... and i've read the other two posts also already.. YOUR posts are far from good (I meant to say that they are the best)liked it :)

    Cheers,

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  10. wonderful work muthu...
    Really really loved it especially the first one..

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  11. ooh naice...all of them!
    :)

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  12. creativity running wild!!
    Great work …

    As I said, imagination has limits, at least on certain points, hence I felt to use the word grave for sex …it not necessarily be so .. m not sure..

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  13. all were nice attempts, well done!

    i have been to kodaikanal, nice place...enjoy, have fun!

    Tk care,
    Amit

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  14. Excellent.. No wait, super excellent !
    A Real novel idea. Great work ! And complete justice, atleat I think so..

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  15. loved each one of the series.. a lot of tastes..oops flavors.. :)

    and yup kodai is a beautiful hill station..enjoy your trip... i really liked the boating and horse riding bit :)

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  16. pictures indeed speak a lot of wonderful words...

    you built a sweet script around the snap

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  17. Take a bow!!

    AWESOME work dude!!! *Respect*

    Loved all four of them. :)

    Have fun in Kodaikanal. :)

    Cheers

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  18. @ sowmi - thanks 4 the compliments yaar.. :)

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  19. @ amal bose- Thanks 4 dropping by yaar...

    hmhm i myself liked the last one... I have a dark streak in me that always votes for the saddest one...

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  20. @ jinxed pixie - Thanks 4 your compliments yaar.

    Glad 2 see you dropping by.

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  21. @ deeps- thanks 4 the compliments yaar....

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  22. @ hopeless romantic- thanks 4 the compliments man..

    and yeah, I had a great time in Kodai.

    will post abt it soon. :)

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  23. @ netika lumb- thanks 4 your vote of confidence yaar.. :)

    cheers... :)

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  24. @ pink orchid- Glad my recipe, went well with you...

    I had fun in Kodai yaar.. But since it was drizzling, we did not go 4 boating nor horse riding...

    A pity. huh??

    but anyways I loved the trip.

    will blog abt it later.

    cheers.. :)

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  25. @ chriz - thanks man.

    hey whats up with the new snap. :)

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  26. @ Bondgal_rulz- Your compliments are always a delight 2 read yaar.. :)

    Yeah i had real fun in kodai. will post abt it later.... :D

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  27. Muthu I think u did really well! Much more than I had expected :) Well done!

    I like how u presented it too...4 different takes.

    I like #1 and #2 the best tho :) They r my favs. Very deep, intense and real.

    TY for doing this and dedicating the post for me! I feel honored :)

    Good luck with ur next post too!


    **A post about gender and what I think is the most bigoted issue of all thats affecting us as a sexual being


    cant wait to read it :)


    Keshi.

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  28. @ keshi - Am glad i surpassed your expectations...

    and my fav was the last one... i always love the darker side of things...

    Like once the tamil poet bharathi said-

    pain is perceptual, whats left to humans is too see the lighter side of it.

    am glad to have made you feel honored.. (that last statement was a bit silly but was kind a gentleman like.. :D - and thats how to make a gentleman out of some1 like me.. :P)- make a silly statement.. :D

    and yeah, trust me with my next post will sure make a dent.. :)

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So what did you think???